For my dearest C.B.

I am grieving the loss of you dear one, there is such an emptiness here now. I don't know where you are. If you have moved on and found true happiness then I am happy for you...but I would have hoped you would say goodbye. 
You have gone away from me before without explanation so you leave me wondering. 
I worry that you are perhaps ill or worse still, that you may have died...
but then you would be happy to be with your God.

I have no way of knowing, no-one to tell me how you are, what has happened, no way to reach out to you except from here...
It all seems so silent, final and I am heartbroken.

I was looking through my weblog today, you have been so much a part of it. Your messages and your kindnesses resonate here. Your presence can be felt in the words and the spaces between.

Our correspondence from the past still touches my heart. Ever since you made me aware of your presence all of those years ago, every poem, every word, every song and flower was for you. I have never known anyone like you before and never will again. What is there left for me now? I will always love you.

Much love, Dianne xoxo

On A Lane In Spring

A Little Lane, the brook runs 

close beside

And spangles in the sunshine 

while the fish glide swiftly by

And hedges leafing 

with the green spring tide

From out their greenery 

the old birds fly

And chirp and whistle 

in the morning sun

The pilewort glitters 

'neath the pale blue sky

The little robin 

has its nest begun

And grass green linnets 

round the bushes fly

How Mild the Spring Comes in; 

the daisy buds

Lift up their golden blossoms 

to the sky

How lovely are the pingles 

and the woods

Here a beetle runs; 

and there a fly

Rests on the Arum leaf 

in bottle green

And all the Spring 

in this Sweet lane is seen.

John Clare -  1793 - 1864

For my dear friend C.B. wherever you may be.

Springtime Feelings

I have all of the feelings of Springtime,
yet I struggle to find the words...
Ribbons of memories
of past Springs unravel, 
taking me to places
where happiness was found.
Yet the hedgerows have flowers
and berries will follow
The birds are still songful
and fragrant flowers surround
perhaps I will find the words
while these feelings still abound...

Prose - Dianne Dawes
For dear C.B.

But a chance ...

“But a chance tone of colour in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once loved and that brings subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again, a cadence from a piece of music that you had ceased to play— I tell you, that it is on things like these that our lives depend.”

- Oscar Wilde

Cosmos Flowers

The Risk of Love ...

The risk of love is loss 

and the price of loss is grief. 

But the pain of grief 

is only a shadow 

when compared with the pain 

of never risking love.

Hilary Stanton Zunin  

Where Are You Mon Ami?

Where are you dear one? I look for you each day but cannot find a message from you or feel your presence? 
I miss you so much and I am concerned for your health and your well being! 
I hope you are not ill or worse? How would I know? 
Please contact me and let me know how you are? That you are well. I have no way of finding you over the vast distance which separates us. Please take care dear one. 

Much love, Dianne xoxox 

See You Again ...

So let the light guide your way
hold every memory
as you go
and every road you take
will always lead you home.

It's been a long day without you,
my friend
And I'll tell you all about it
when I see you again.

Charlie Otto Puth
From the song: See You Again

From Sonnet LXXXI

No one else, Love,
will sleep in my dreams.
You will go,
we will go together,
over the waters of time.
No one else will travel
through the shadows
with me,
only you, evergreen,
ever sun, ever moon.

Pablo Neruda

For dearest, C.B.

les joies de mai

'"Everything that is made beautiful and fair and lovely is made for the eye of one who sees."

Rumi:

From the Heart...

I am feeling so sad this morning

heartache and longing

for something I can never have...

I wish we had met many years ago

when I was young

and filled with life

sadly my youth has gone

middle age is passing

I am fading

closer to my end of days

than to the beginning...

How wonderful it would have been

To spend a day with you

my hand in yours

so close to you

to go home with you

to stay

to love you

and never have to say Goodbye...

For Dearest C.B.

It's True ...

It’s True
Ay, the pain it costs me
to love you as I love you!

For love of you, the air, it hurts,
and my heart,
and my hat, they hurt me.

Who would buy it from me,
this ribbon I am holding,
and this sadness of cotton,
white, for making handkerchiefs with?

Ay, the pain it costs me
to love you as I love you!

Federico Garcia Lorca

The feelings that hurt...

The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd - The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.

Fernando Pessoa

I miss you ...

I miss you dear one
I miss your words 
I miss our friendship
I never meant to hurt you
I am sorry 
I love you as a friend 
Life seems empty and pointless
without you in my world...

For you C.B. my dearest friend. xoxo