Friday, February 23, 2018

It's True ...

It’s True
Ay, the pain it costs me
to love you as I love you!
For love of you, the air, it hurts,
and my heart,
and my hat, they hurt me.
Who would buy it from me,
this ribbon I am holding,
and this sadness of cotton,
white, for making handkerchiefs with?
Ay, the pain it costs me
to love you as I love you!
Federico Garcia Lorca

7 comments:

José Ramón said...

Es un placer pasar por su blog, Saludos

dianne said...

¡Gracias, querido José!
Saludos xoxo

dianne said...

Hello dear C.B, it seems like a long time since you have stopped by to say hello! I hope you are coping well with the freezing conditions in the U.K. at present? I hope that you are well and taking care of yourself and have somewhere warm to live? I do worry about you!
Take care dear one!
Much love, your friend Dianne. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Well... the snow melted today. The temperature was even up to 12 degrees centigrade. A carrot sits on the ground in my garden!

The stones: https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.0404596,-1.1035434,3a,75y,130.43h,87.05t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1shacyNBuBrFzUn2ZrH2HHCQ!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

Just behind that sign to 'Woodlands 1' exists a circle, many circles of stones! Amazing and a story to boot.

I walked around the stones placed in a circle. Yes... it would have better infinitely superior had you been there to share the experience.

Listen. I'm off to Valencia next week. Walking along Arab walls. Under a Arabic portico. A clean and pretty city, rare as it is these days.

I have no friends. You know as much, surely? I enjoy the regular brief moment of sharedness with you.

Tomorrow there is a film club in Southampton. I don't know why I go. I see a girl there. She makes textiles. I think she has a long-term interested friend there. I will watch. It passes the time. I once, asked to see her left hand.

She showed it me. It's a good left hand, I said. Ohhh... she said. Could you touch a tree with that hand? I don't know... But, you do touch real things, don't you, I replied. Yes. So do I. I need a left hand, maybe one day, you will consider? Yes, sir.

I departed.

Thought some more in the darkness of the night. I hope it is the hand that I need.

Are you following, dear Dianne? Life is all about this and nothing less. Yes, I think would very much be enthralled to have made, make, your acquaintance.

This film, this silly film, of mine. It will bend, curl, curve and finally steady upon your senses in a way never before experienced. But I so ache inside to tell you my truth. I have no one honestly. No one. You are so naive sometimes.

The best, the very best, I can ever hope for, is a faint memory in one's heart. Because, I will be honest, I am not destined here for long. I know that. The song, Natalia, by Georges Moustaki. Listen to it please. It is quite relevant. She is so small. Tiny. Delicate. Not meant to be here. 5% chance of survival. 0.9kg. We advise you, sir... I ignored the advice and she is alive. Completely alive by the hand of God only.

You see, and I will emphasize this, you, me, her, Matthew, is alive only because... nothing, absolutely nothing, I repeat, to do with doctors, clever idiots.

Only God. Don't forget these words. Oh, you may hear to the contrary but I know something different than you. You are alive because of God. What you have been through soon have been fatal by now. No? But no. You are alive. And I know precisely why.

The scene of this world is changing. What you behold will soon be a memory, no, even less. There is a future, you know of it, where righteousness is to reign. The animals, our friends.

All you see at present is to go. Happiness is to replace the suffering here on this earth. You will pinch yourself in disbelief but you will remember these words, my words.

Stop worrying, please. I never left you, did I? Just need a little bit of faith. Just a little bit. C.B.

dianne said...

Hello dear C.B. It was so lovely to hear from you this morning dear one, to read your words again.
There are so many beautiful trees near that Woodland sign, a beautiful forest. Trees that I don't see here in this country, branches heavy with gorgeous leaves of different shapes and shades of green. It would be lovely to see your circles of stones! I guess they are ancient circles? Thank you for the link, you know how much I love trees.

I don't understand why you don't have any friends but then again I have very few as I am a loner. I have acquaintances, that's all.
I am naive, I am not very experienced in the ways of the world or relationships, two only in my lifetime.

I didn't think I would hear from you again and that made me very sad.
Your young woman who weaves, you need her left hand for your film, to touch the tree? I thought by now you may have asked her out and you had found some happiness?

You are never far from my thoughts, it's as if I carry you around in my heart. You will always be in my heart.
Do you remember I posted the guitar music Natalia by Georges Moustaki on my blog many years ago. It is beautiful and you said it was a favourite of yours, that you played it on your guitar? So tell me please who is this tiny, delicate, 0.9kg 'she' who had a 5% chance of survival? Was she your baby and did she survive? How very sad and terrifying to be given such news.

There is so much I want to know about you...I know very little. You tell me parts of stories but not the complete story and always leave me wondering. When you told me that you wanted me and all of those beautiful words you spoke to me I thought since they were so personal you would have written them in an email...but you are frightened I will write too often. I realise that. Your words touched my heart more than you can imagine but I could never live up to your impression of me...your expectation of me. You understand that I am not well, not fit, not beautiful.

Please don't tell me you aren't long for this world! Please tell me what is wrong with you, can nothing be done? I worry so much about you, especially when you speak of dying. It would be tragic for you and would break my heart...I hope you are mistaken!

Valencia will be such a lovely place to visit and good for your health! Lots of sunshine I think! Have a lovely time.
Living in the UK is such an advantage, so close to all of the beautiful and interesting countries!
Are you still living in Hampshire? You have a house to give you shelter and keep you warm...and a garden? The Spring weather will be there soon for you. Sunshine, newly leaved trees, many flowers, soft blue skies...how beautiful!
Please take care my love and thank you for not giving up on me. Please don't stay away too long? Much love always, Dianne xoxox

Nuno França Machado said...

Beautiful!

dianne said...

Thank you!