Wednesday, March 7, 2018

From the Heart...

I am feeling so sad this morning
heartache and longing
for something I can never have...
I wish we had met many years ago
when I was young
and filled with life
sadly my youth has gone
middle age is passing
I am fading
closer to my end of days
than to the beginning...

How wonderful it would have been
To spend a day with you
my hand in yours
so close to you
to go home with you
to stay
to love you
and never have to say Goodbye...

For Dearest C.B.


Anonymous said...

Who's to say? Remain humble. For with such humility, God is well-pleased and you may be yet surprised. Forget age. Numbers. What of it? Your mind remains. More importantly, your heart. God doesn't overlook such things, does he? Your goodness? The good deeds you have done for others? If it be his will, we may yet one day meet, no? Never scoff at what God can accomplish by some 'coincidence' of his.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 1:26-29: “For you see his calling of you, brothers, that there are not many wise in a fleshly way (or “by human standards”), not many powerful, not many of noble birth, (or “from important families”) but God chose the foolish things of the world to put the wise men to shame; and God chose the weak things of the world to put the strong things to shame; and God chose the insignificant things of the world and the things looked down on, the things that are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, so that no one (or “flesh”) might boast in the sight of God.”

His revealing is from prophecies understood long ago by simple persons, fishermen and such like, and yet, we live in a generation of ignorance, over-confidence, smugness - an age of 'enlightenment' or as God would put it, an age of 'darkness'.

But all is not lost. I pray for you - to see. To be able to see. To understand. Not for what I know - for I know nothing. But for what God knows. For what God promises, has promised, for a very long time.

The scene of this world is changing, you know that. It has not long to go. It pants on... and on. It is on its last legs. Everything has been tried. To no avail. It will fail. It must fail. Man cannot live on bread alone, but on every utterance of God. Wasn't that a reply to one of the three temptations?

The man who spoke those words was not being tested by evil within himself but by another being, tempting him to, simply, think, independently, of God.

Therein, lies the whole issue, the whole problem, with mankind.

In each reply, that man who lived, 2000 years ago, replied to the temptations with the words of whom? His father, God. The Creator. So simple. So obvious.

If you want the answer, go to the one with the answer. Not to an idiot. Or a slanderer. Or a thief. Or a foolish one. Whatever you wish, ask for it, and it will be given you. One just needs the faith the size of a mustard seed.

Yesterday, I went a long way in the pouring rain in the dark of night to Wimborne Minster. I met up with a small number of old people. They make films. They are friendly. Kind. Thoughtful. I listened. They wondered who I was. Sitting there. Smiling pensively. Their comments during the meeting were well-thought out and intelligent. I felt somewhat relieved that such people still existed. Polite. Courteous. I was given a coffee by a gentleman without asking, during the half-way break. I smiled. Will we be seeing you again, sir? Quite possibly, I replied.

You are very special, Dianne. Never forget that. Do you really think, I write to anyone else, anywhere, ever? You dream! Un de ces jours, mon amie. C.B.

dianne said...

Dearest C.B., thank you for your kind message, it was so lovely to hear from you. Thank you for your words of wisdom and passages from the Bible.
I keep to myself much of the time and help people when they are in need. I was so very sad for you all of those years ago when you would write to me of your sadness and depression. I hope my humble and well meant words were of comfort to you?
I would never scoff at God, I ask him for help and guidance often.
Perhaps one day we shall meet if I feel I am worthy of you. You say that age does not matter, it's not so much age but physical ability. I am not as mobile as I once was, you need someone who can walk with you, keep up with you and go on adventures with you. My knees require surgery but when that can happen I don't know. Of course I can still walk but not as fast as I did or as steadily.
Nor is it a matter of physical beauty, I am not vain, I guess I am still attractive but a faded version of whom I once was. I know you value a beautiful physical appearance, you once said so in one of your blogs.
My best assets are my ability to love and care and express my feelings!

I hope you had a pleasant time in Valencia and enjoyed your holiday? I guess it was a holiday and I hope that the weather was warmer than Winchester? I would love to hear about your time in Valencia!

I'm so pleased you enjoyed your visit to Wimborne Minster and you found some lovely people there, people who make films. I hope you do return as you said the people were friendly, kind and polite.
How do you travel now since you don't have your motorcycle anymore? Do you have a car or do you use public transport?

I feel very special and honoured because you do write to me, your messages are the highlight of my days. You are my comfort and my happiness! Please take care dear one, much love Dianne. xoxox

dianne said...

Hello dear C.B., I hope you have had a good week and you are well? Has the weather improved from the last time you wrote to me? I hope so!
I treated myself to some pretty white daisies and some Easter daisies on Thursday. Not because of Easter as you have said all of these dates are incorrect, these daisies are in flower at this time of year. They brightened my day considerably as I am very fond of white flowers, especially daisies. I have yet to take a photo of them.
I'm certain dear Colonel Brandon never imagined that he would one day be loved by Marianne when he called at Barton cottage with his posy of exotic flowers . She made such a fuss of the wildflowers John Willoughby had brought her, not his own thoughtful gift. I would probably prefer the wildflowers too but not Willoughby.
It's about 2,55 am here but I wanted to say Hello and share my thoughts with you!
Take care.
Much love dear one, Dianne. X

dianne said...

I have missed you dear C.B.! I guess the story of my daisies and my observations of the flowers in Sense and Sensibility were of no interest to you. Trifling perhaps?
My life, if you could call it that is not very interesting. One day blends into the next.
I have not been able to write a poem for I find myself without inspiration. Everyone else seems to be moving forward in their lives but I am standing still.
I do like to hear from you, hear stories of your would be lovely to hear about your recent holiday. So many times you mention something but say nothing more, leaving me to wonder why? I hope to hear from you soon as you are 'my happy place'! I trust that you are well?
Much love, Dianne. X

dianne said...

Hello dear C.B., I hope that you are well?
Someone with the initials B BG has left a message for you today in my comments for the post 'Just Take My Hand', September, 21, 2017. I thought you would like to know.
Take care dear one,
Much love, Dianne x

Anonymous said...

Dianne, you are very important. I do not know the person you referenced. But I walked into a young Polish man today on the high street of Southampton. A young man, Milosz. I know you, he said to me. You do? I said. I asked if he wishes to meet me again, possibly this week. Waiting for a reply. Should I? You know, Dianne, how I feel about chance. Strange, it should happen. He knows about Kieslowski, obviously, certainly regarding chance. Quite young. Around 30 or so. Kind. Sensitive. I'm wondering. The Grand Creator works in ways, so far above my understanding. I thought, maybe, I could invite him to London to meet my homeless friends without names. Some of them are Polish. It doesn't matter, does it? He seems very alone. But sensitive. I get that, already, from him. As I have told you, I'm sure, on so many occasions, the one who is directing us, is far higher than our minds could possibly comprehend, ever, ever. How long did it take me to understand that? A lifetime. I'm just starting to understand. Embarrassing, isn't it? He knows about sound. I know about images. Between the two of us, would my film materialize? Or does he know somebody, who I need to know? I am just all full of questions, and no answers, you know what that feels like, I'm sure! You see, Dianne, I don't have the answers. I have only the questions. And my film, I'm proposing, is all about questions. Nothing more, nothing less. Well, if you are following... I will keep in touch. But... we are already in touch, are we not? You know where I am. I know where you are. It suffices. As I have said before, you are very important. And special too. The Grand Creator knows why. I'm just learning all the time, how he works. Take care. C.B.

dianne said...

Dearest C.B., it matters not to me whether you know this person or not. They obviously know you and l was being courteous in letting you know that they had left a message for you in the comments of a post from last year. If I had not it would be unlikely that you would have seen it. Was it not the right thing to do? I don't mind informing you of messages left for you on my blog.
The young Polish man that you met in Southhampton who said that he knew you, do you remember him? I don't know whether to advise you to meet up with him again, it's not up to me. If you feel he is genuine and you have a sense of goodness about him, well I guess it would be alright. One has to be careful these days about whom they let into their lives. Who knows, perhaps you were meant to meet him and he can possibly help with your film. It might be good for him to meet some of your homeless friends in London if he is lonely, sensitive and some of them are also Polish. I hope it all works out well!
You say that we are in contact already and that should suffice. You know where I am and I know where you are, well I don't really know where you are. I don't know where you live. You and your friendship are very special to me, you are a very special person. I love to hear from you but if you feel I am being too demanding of your time and you don't wish to write any more, then don't.
I will miss you terribly but I will understand and I shall cope with the silence.
Take care dear one!
Much love Dianne X

Anonymous said...

Yes, Dianne, I'm sorry for being discourteous. Perhaps, it was Barbara from Italy - it must be a decade ago. I will write you again. I am mostly just going out on walks on my own in the woods, at the moment, as I am a bit tired at the present. The fresh air might help me. Mes amitiés, C.B.

dianne said...

Dearest C.B., thank you for your message. There is absolutely no need for you to apologise, you weren't discourteous. You have many admirers from your past weblogs and if one of those people was trying to leave you a message through my blog I would always pass on the information to you.
I envy your freedom to go for walks in the woods, the fresh air, to do as you please and not be responsible for anyone else. After writing my reply to your message I felt bad about myself, I apologise to you for being less than gracious. I feel grateful for your friendship and the times that you do write to me. I do miss you. I too am tired and on edge due to lack of sleep because of the bushfires which have been all around me. It's an uneasy feeling waiting on text messages and phone calls from the Fire Service advising of the status of the danger and what to do. It was like a war zone on Saturday night with the helicopters flying over water bombing the inaccessible areas and the noise of the sirens and fire trucks. The smoke and ash doesn't help either. Thank goodness for the dedication of the fire fighters who bravely take on these disasters. I feel we are safe now as the danger has been downgraded due to back burning last night. Take care dear one, enjoy your walks in the fresh air and I hope to hear from you again.
Much love, Dianne x

Anonymous said...

As I understand, and I may be wrong, many of the bushfires have become out of control in the last century due to the change in the control of the habitat. For example, the Aboriginal Australians burnt wide pathways on a regular basis as they travelled in search of food, aware as they were, of the susceptibility of fire in the bush. Is this correct? I am only guessing, that perhaps, and a big perhaps, too much knowledge, and not enough understanding have swapped places in the recent change of social migration? But I know not. Nor claim to. All I know, as far as experience has educated me, that I am, in the end, profoundly ignorant of the wise ways of the past, the present or the future. Al I know is very, very little and decreasing as the days pass. I think of you often. What conversations would we have had on that shore not far from where you reside? I mentioned it once to you, I'm sure. I'm not ignorant, totally, of the need to stay in the present. It is important. Too often, t'is true, I think of past times, due to great part, to lack of wisdom. I wish, very much. I yearn, very much. Tonight, I meant to take my self to the film club in Southampton, but, I no longer have that desire. I feel I would only be making others self-conscious in some way. The young want to breathe freely, without the wisdom or presence of so-called experience. I respect them for that. What is so important is the immediate. The vital. Not the intellect. Life is not so much about being clever with knowledge but being aware. Intellect, to be honest, is so over-rated. I stumbled over another homeless person last week. I stepped back one pace. I let him save face. Of course. Yes. You are quite right in the matters of what you say, I said to him. "But pray tell me, sir, what exactly do you desire in life?" I enquired of him. "Is it truly what you need to be happy?" My eyes, unfortunately, burned a hole through his clothing. But he understood. Finally, I met a girl, mute, I do suppose, that looked at me enquiringly. And I told of things, I'm not sure if I should've. She read my lips carefully. And smiled. I know I'll never, ever meet her again because I am very much like that. Changing. And moving. There. That will suffice for this evening. I bid you a gracious and quietly calming evening. I quite like you, I must say. C.B.

dianne said...

Good morning my dear C.B. I hope you slept well? I was thinking you should have gone to the film club in Southampton last night as you don't want to become a recluse. The people were polite and welcoming to you last time, I'm sure there is much knowledge you could share with them, I'm sure they would appreciate your experience. I hope you have been well? I always wonder how you are, I think of you often. There are many conversations we could have had, should have had but sadly that time has passed. I always look forward to your messages.

I'm so pleased the girl who was mute had the pleasure of your conversation, she may not realise how fortunate she was. I hope the homeless man was alright apart from his present circumstances?

Yes, I believe the Aboriginal Australians did a lot of clearing of the bushland by burning it in the past. As the population has grown we have expanded further into the bushland areas like my suburb and the practice of hazard reduction burning is now carried out by the Rural Fire Service. All of Sydney was once bushland and scrub, there are little patches of it left on the edges of the city itself but will soon be swallowed up by high rise development. There are some very ugly suburbs and industrial areas on the fringe of the city. We are not a pretty country like the U.K.!
The trees here don't have lovely, soft green leaves, they have to be hard and resilient to withstand the heat.

Thank you for your lovely message. I'm so pleased that you like me, I like you too! Take care dear one, much love Dianne. xoxox

dianne said...

I always think of something else to tell you once I have posted my message. Sadly our time together here is so short. In the very early hours of this morning I was thinking about some of our conversations in the past when you had the 'chat' application on your weblog. They were very pleasant, I enjoyed them, you were funny and made me laugh. I often wonder what your voice is like, I would assume you have a French accent?
I found this poem/ quote today which is quite beautiful, it made me think of you, longing and how I feel your words. X

“My soul is full of longing
for the secret of the sea,
and the heart of the great ocean
sends a thrilling pulse through me.”

― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

dianne said...

Hello my dear C.B.! This will be my third message I have left for you.
I really love this music, when I listen to it I can almost imagine I am flying and my heart is soaring...

Crissi said...

Wonderful but very sad words dear Diane !!
Much love from afar!
All the best
♥ hug ♥ Crissi

dianne said...

Thank you dear Crissi for your kind words, often times life doesn't flow as we would choose. I hope that you are well dear friend?
Much love to you and all the best!
Warm hugs ❤️ Dianne. xo