Thursday, August 14, 2008

Where did I go wrong?



She thought she had found a true friend, a kindred spirit - but like most of the men in her life that had mattered to her, he was now rejecting her as well. Had she been too demanding, outspoken about her feelings for him, outstayed her welcome?
She pondered this as she sat there, his last words resonating in her head, tears pouring down her cheeks. She sobbed uncontrollably as she realised the finality of it all. It took her quite some time to regain her composure, then carefully she wiped away the tears and sat there in silence feeling completely abandoned.

Sometimes I wonder why I tried so hard to secure the affection of someone I loved so dearly. Was all of the rejection & sadness worth it in the end? Well at the time I thought so; I foolishly and somewhat naively believed that there would be a happy ending. Love can do that to you.By wanting more and pushing that point I ruined a perfectly good friendship, so what have I got to show for my over enthusiasm in seeking his love? Nothing, for now he wont even speak to me. Now wounded I am wiser, if you have to try so hard with someone and it is all one sided then it is not meant to be. You cannot make someone want you and love you, nor would it work if you could, it is something that has to be there and come naturally, otherwise it would not be worth having.

9 comments:

/t. said...

i read
somewhere
that problems
sometimes are such
because of the way we choose to view them -- that is, 'problems' could as easily be 'opportunites' or even 'solutions' if we choose to see them in a new light -- am not entirely sure if or how this idea applies here, diane, but i mention it

it's good to see you now have a blog, your place in cyberspace, where we can find you :)

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

dianne said...

Thanks /t. for thinking of me and for that thoughtful comment. Problem, opportunity, solution? I am still trying to work out what happened but I find it helps to write about it, I think it is part of my healing process. It is nice to have my own Blog where you can all find me; I have some lovely friends. :)

¤ ¤ ¤

puerileuwaite said...

Curses! This is the rare post that forces me to be almost serious and reverent for a fleeting moment.

/t. has a good point (Curses AGAIN for being forced to praise /t.), but of course we all know that in matters of the heart, it's easier said than done.

I am very fond of your writing style, and this post is further evidence of the way you can make me feel what you are feeling.

It is very difficult to find the appropriate words to express my empathy for what you've gone through. I can say that you are not alone, and many of us have similar experiences.

And for some of us, we learn to be careful and (whether it can be considered a facade or not) adopt an attitude of "if it's meant to be ... great; if not, that's okay too". It doesn't mean we don't care ... it's just a means of being careful.

boneman said...

....gosh. Even though I'm not speaking of your post, but rather your site improvemants, it turns out to be the same answer.
Now, isn't that odd?

It was not a matter of right or wrong.
That you had a line between all of us mattered not.

What matters is,
Pug had to agree with /t......

Now, that's gotta be worth a grin.

Little Lamb said...

That's hard when that happens.

dianne said...

Puggles my sweet thank you also for your thoughtful & wise advice, sorry if I have forced you to be serious for a moment and agree with /t. I'm just a silly gal, he is a really nice guy,its not his fault that he didn't feel the same,that is why I'm having difficulty 'letting go', its easier said than done. :)

Boney I'm glad to hear that you got a grin out of this and thanks again for your help. :)

Lil Lamb thanks, it is hard to accept and to move on, it's like leaving a little piece of your heart behind, I guess we have all been there at some time. :)

boneman said...

wow.
Did you see where Jean is running neck and neck for first?

Did notice y'all didn't get in one yesterday, but then, neither did I....

dianne said...

Yes Boney I did, they were both worthy winning entries; got there in time to vote...

dianne said...

Voice of a songbird
Face doesn't fit the image
Chinese saving face...