Happy New Year

 Wishing you all a Happy New Year for 2017. 

Wishes of happiness, good health for you dear friends and hopefully some peace throughout the world.

I apologise for not visiting your blogs as often as I would like but I have much to do here at home for the present time.
Much Love Dianne...♥

Christmas Greetings

 

Dear Friends, may your Christmas season be filled with love, happiness and peace as you celebrate with family and friends.

Love and best wishes to all, Dianne. xoxoxo   ♥

Another Distant Sky ...

I wait here alone in the moonlight
Wishing you were close by
All I have for company
Are the shadows in the evening sky
I look up to the Heavens
Wishing you were here
But you are far away
Beneath another distant sky...

Poem - Dianne Dawes - ♥
Image - My Tree in the Moonlight

Zbigniew Preisner - Les Marionettes

Where are you dear friend?

Where are you dear friend?
For you have not been around
Are you lost in the darkness
And cannot find your way
I look for you each morning
And at the end of the day
I worry that your sadness
Is keeping you away
Please find your way to me
Brush the shadows away
There is nothing but kindness
Here to be found ...

Poem - Dianne Dawes - xoxoxo 💛
For my dear friend C.B.

Last Light ...

Last light fading

A flash of rays

Golden and glowing

Last light of day…

Poem - Dianne Dawes

Photo taken with my iPhone

Please enlarge

Home At Last!

Thank you everyone for your prayers and kind wishes for Matthew and myself. I am sure all of the messages I have passed on to him have helped in some way to aid in his recovery. He was very moved by your kindness in taking the time to leave messages for him...especially Yannis and Vania for writing his name in the sand at the beach in Greece, for your lovely poems and dear C.B. for your special prayers.
I am happy to report that after five frightening months my son Matthew was discharged from the hospital on Monday, 22nd August.
He is being given a break from hospital to return home for some rest and recuperation as he is severely deconditioned and in pain. It is hoped that being home will help him to gain some physical and mental strength before he has to face two more major surgeries. 
He has been sent home with a Vacuseal dressing on his wound, it stays on until the wound has completely healed. The dressing is attached to a unit which is powered by rechargeable batteries. The Vacuseal dressing apples negative pressure to the wound site drawing blood vessels toward the surface, thereby vascularising the wound bed and accelerating granular tissue growth and healing. The Community Nurse will visit twice weekly to clean the wound and reapply a fresh Vacuseal dressing.
We have a busy time ahead of us with many outpatient appointments to address the ongoing Tachycardia, the numerous D.V.T's and the level of medication to dissolve them, Pain Management specialist, Radiology for abdominal C.T scans, the Neurologist for the M.S., Vascular Surgeon, Physiotherapy plus some counseling.
This whole episode has felt surreal. It is good to have him home but it will take a long time for him to return to some kind of normal health.

Much love, Dianne xoxoxo 

Day 136

Thank you everyone once more for your prayers and kind wishes for Matthew. He underwent surgery on Monday to have a skin graft taken from the front of his thigh to cover his abdominal wound which was still quite open and covered only with granular tissue. This kind of tissue is not strong enough to prevent his bowel from herniating through his abdominal wall. He seemed in good spirits on Monday night, though the PCA was only just keeping his pain under control, surprisingly his thigh was the most painful. 

By Thursday night he was feeling unwell, having difficulty breathing though he was being given oxygen.  He was complaining about pain in his right lung and when examined by the doctor he heard Creps in his lower lung, eventually a saline and Ventolin nebuliser was ordered. 

On Friday his condition had worsened, so much that his temperature had risen to over 40 degrees Celsius and the tachycardia had returned, his heart rate having risen to 166 BPM. He was put on very strong IV antibiotics and IV saline and glucose. He is being monitored very closely because of his temperature, tachycardia and he now has pneumonia. 

On Saturday morning the dressing was removed from his abdomen and unfortunately the skin graft has not  taken/adhered, it came off with the dressing. Thrown away, along with our hopes. What a waste of surgery, his skin graft, the pain he has had and is still enduring. 

We are still waiting for answers to explain how this could happen. Yet another disaster after so many complications. Matthew was very down on Saturday night and depressed tonight and I am very concerned for his health, how he is coping and now what can be done. Where do we go from here? 

I await some answers from the medical profession.

Much love, Dianne  ♥

Image - The Atrium at the Hospital-Some green-space for the patients to enjoy, 

Day 122

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes and prayers, I apologise for not visiting your blogs and leaving comments, I have missed you and most of your recent posts, I am sure they have been beautiful.

To you dearest C.B. I apologise for neglecting you, I miss you and think of you every day and I say a prayer for you each night. I hope you are enjoying your beautiful Summer in the U.K or perhaps in France with all of the delights of the warmer weather and lovely flowers? I hardly visit here anymore, I have been so busy, I have been checking my emails on my iPhone.

Matthew remains in hospital, there have been good days and bad days, more complications, too numerous to mention but we must be grateful as he was not expected to live. 

He is being transferred to another major hospital on Monday, for the first of four surgeries. When he had the second surgery due to infection and an abscess. his abdominal muscle had to be removed. As I mentioned the VacuSeal dressing failed, he haemorrhaged and he was left with a large gaping wound with edges which were not strong enough to be sutured together. 

He has this wound cleaned with saline, silver nitrate and packed with special gauze every day and the granular tissue is beginning to fill the void. This tissue is not strong so when he stands his bowel is herniated and will almost certainly push through the tissue. 

He is to have plastic surgery within the next week where some mesh will be sewn in place for support and a skin graft taken from his thigh sewn over the top. After bed rest he will be going to a Rehabilitation hospital until he is strong enough to come home.

When he regains some strength he will have another surgery to remove the granular tissue which is growing into and strangling his bowel, the next surgery is to hopefully bring the two sides of the wound sides together to be sutured and the final operation to reverse the colostomy surgery and re-join his colon. That is if all goes well and according to plan. I have to admire him, I don't know where he finds the strength and courage to go on, given all that he has been through and what is still ahead.

The photos above are of the path leading to the car park just visible on the left. It is quite chilly when I leave the hospital at night, you can see the aura of the frost around the lights, some stars and a glimpse of the moon. It is fresh after the air conditioning of the hospital and there is a beautiful fragrance in the air, so lovely. it is the lemon scent of the leaves and flowers of the Lemon Scented Eucalyptus or Eucalyptus Citriadora. These grand trees have been there for many years. You find beauty in the most unexpected places.

My condolences and wishes of sympathy to the people of Nice for those who were maliciously murdered and injured and to their families and friends. Yet another senseless act of violence.

Please take care everyone, I do think of you when I have the time.

Much love, Dianne ....♥

Thank You...

I would write you a poem

But I cannot find the words

For sadness has robbed my heart

Of the words I wish to express

Feelings of certainty that I once felt

Now taken from me

Just fear and doubt instead

I want to sense the beauty of the flowers

That abound, feel the softness of their petals

Their fragrance that surrounds

Feel the warmth of the sunshine

As it wraps me in its light

Feel the comfort of knowing

That the end will be all right

To take away the shadows

That are haunting me each night…

Much love Dianne ... ♥

For dearest C.B, thank you for your visits my friend, it is comforting to feel you nearby.

Thank you dear friends for your messages of warmth and kindness.

My dear son Matthew remains in the ICU, with many complications, further surgeries planned and a skin graft in time to close the large, open incision.

Please enlarge image

An Update On My Son Matthew

Matthew in happier, healthier days.

Week six begins and Matthew remains in the Intensive Care / Critical Care Unit. He had further abdominal surgery last week as the wound was not healing properly and had to be reopened and cleaned of infection and accumulated debris from internal bleeding; this was posing yet another risk to his life. 

The 23centimetre incision has been left open and a Vacu Seal (Negative Pressure Wound Therapy) dressing has been applied to help the wound heal more efficiently. He is still left with blood clots in his lungs and arteries, tachycardia, kidney problems and hypertension, none of which he had before this medical emergency.

I hope with ongoing treatment these problems can all be resolved.

Once more thank you all again for your words and wishes of kindness.

Much love, Dianne  xoxoxo  ♥

Enya - Pale Grass Blue

From the 2015 Album - Dark Sky Island

Sense and Sensibility - "The Dreame"

Or scorn or pity on me take,
I must the true redemption make,
I am undone tonight.
Love, in a subtle dream disguised,
Hath both my heart and me surprised,
Whom never yet be durst attempt awake;

Nor will he tell me for whose sake
He did me the delight or spite,
But leaves me to inquire
In all my wild desire
Of sleep again, who was his aid,
And sleep so guilty and afraid
And since he dares not come within my sight.

Music composed by Patrick Doyle

Sung by Jane Eaglen

Text from the poem 'The Dream' written by Benjamin 'Ben' Jonson

(c. 11 June 1572 – 6 August 1637)

I have posted this beautiful piece of music and song as it is one of my favourites from the film "Sense and Sensibility". This is the song Marianne sings when Colonel Brandon has the pianoforte delivered to Barton Cottage and she must learn to play the music and words of the song before he returns. In the film Marianne (Kate Winslet) performs the song with the word 'relation' substituted for 'redemption'.

I have many search inquiries about this song on Feedjit, another reason for posting it here.