Saturday, December 27, 2008

THROWN AWAY

So why can't you understand
or even grasp the concept
that there are more kinds of love than one

I love you in a way that is profound
not sexual, not binding, not obligated
No strings attached

Just a loving friendship
from someone who admires you
and cares

The words we shared in the middle of the night
when both of us were sleepless
did they have no meaning for you

Our early morning messages
when I felt so close to you
were like sunshine in my life

Maybe my approach was clumsy
maybe you didn't notice
but this is all new to me

I wanted to know you better
I wanted to share my thoughts with you
my deepest feelings with you

To me that is more trusting,
loving and intimate
than any casual acquaintance would share

I wanted to walk with you
look at the sky with you
laugh with you

I was just trying to get to know you
and hoped you wanted to know me
but you kept putting up barriers,
making excuses,the truth I fear
you didn't want to let me in


Trampling all over my hopes and feelings
finally breaking what was left of my heart
And now you have thrown me away...
I dont understand why...

Prose by Dianne

5 comments:

Jean said...

Time to let go.
No one can force to create what is not there.

dianne said...

Thanks for that Jean; easier said than done. ♥

Helene (the Artist Formerly Known as Kate) said...

That was beautifully written. I hope that you find clarity and peace through this tough time in your life.

I am left with a couple of thoughts... one, is that there is such value in being able to open yourself up to another. Its good for the soul even though in the end it may hurt terribly. and two, if you are missing this so much it is highly likely that your friend is too. I have to wonder if, in time he will see that, OR if he already sees that and is scard because of the parameters that you have had on the relationship. I am assuming that this is a male female relationship. I think its very difficult for men and women to just be friends. One party usually wants more. Those are just my thoughts... thoughts from someone you dont know and who doesnt know you lol so take them for what they are worth. (not much but well intended!=])

I hope that 2009 brings you joy!
cheers!

dianne said...

Thank you dear Helene , yes it was a female male relationship of sorts.
I was trying to convey the depth of my feelings in a way that he would hopefully understand, I guess I was wanting or expecting too much.
I wanted to share myself with him in a way that went far beyond a physical attachment because it is a wonderful thing to open yourself up to someone else.
I have pleaded with this man tried to explain how I felt because he is a good person but he keeps changing the parameters. I have tied myself up in knots emotionally trying to work out exactly what I have to do to have his friendship or whatever else he might have to offer. Now I am exhausted and emotionally spent.
I was dismissed in a very strange e-mail and thrown away.
He is not hurting I can assure you, why he has just resumed life like nothing has happened between us and is now cruelly taunting me by not answering my e-mails and excluding me in a public way.

I appreciate your comment, it was very thoughtful of you to read between the lines and offer some advice. ♥

All the very best of wishes to you for 2009. ♥

Leovi said...

How wonderful, a beautiful female love tremendously.