REIGN OF LOVE

Reign of Love by Coldplay from their CD 'Viva la Vida or Death and all His Friends' ♥

Well faithful friends...if I have any left, its been quite a week, I must be feeling melancholy for I've written two sad poems and a quote in as many days. The second poem was a bit harsh but that was because I am hurting.
I have managed to lose a good friend and someone whom I thought the world of.

It all started with Valentines day you see, my favourite guy forgot me, though I made him a card and sent it.
But no 'thank- you' from him or anything resembling gratitude. No card for me, no flowers just a message as an afterthought... after the day. Gosh, haven't you guys ever heard of Interflora?
Its so nice to be remembered...say it with flowers.

A wise word of advice from one who knows.... now all of you single or available girls out there, those of you who still believe in love and romance...don't go looking for it on the Internet.

In fact don't even look for a true friendship there either...for it might start out nicely but fairly soon he will start some sweet talk and you will respond and you will think you're in love.
Not a very satisfying way to get some romance but words can be beautiful and say a lot... moments shared just like love letters, nothing seedy. You get so hooked on this guy you cant get enough of him he is just so lovely, you want to talk to him and share things with him all of the time and often and he seems to feel the same, everything is going beautifully.

Ah, but after a while he doesn't want an Internet relationship and tells you, of course you cant have a relationship...that monitor is a barrier and it gets in the way, no proper hugs or kisses or anything else...but those words have some compensations.
So friendship is OK if you can stick to it, but if you are like me and you're so in love you cant help yourself and you start slipping some romantic talk back into the conversation and that makes him angry. Well you cant blame him he is a man after all.

So you bombard him with a heap of e-mails in the hope that he will answer, you send him photos, pictures, he does too...well he does seem interested for such a long time...then gradually you get told not to send so many, he doesn't answer, you get concerned, you get berated for asking too many questions and taking up his time and pretty soon it all goes awry. You only wanted to hear from him and talk to him after all you are supposed to be his friend, you are supposed to be special... he doesn't see it that way...you are being far too demanding and you're keeping him from other things more important than you.

Then after a while you don't hear anything and you are tired of being ignored, thoughts of doubt creep into your mind, is there someone else, you feel a little jealous, gee some other girl might be getting all of those words from him that you have come to love so much and when you push the matter suddenly you aren't so attractive or special any more and you get dumped.
Not his fault, he needs someone real...but sadly you still love him.
So girls don't even go there.

I have decided to live my life more dangerously, really put myself out there, gosh its been such a long time since I've had any real loving, last time was with my estranged husband, about eleven years ago. Gosh what a long time between drinks.
In fact the next half decent guy who asks me out will be on a sure thing. I've already been 'popped' so what have I got to lose, just my self respect but where has that got me...lonely and nowhere...my self esteem got lost somewhere along the way ages ago.
Do I sound bitter? You bet I am...but then, I am in self-destruct mode.

So I will leave you with this music from Coldplay, please do listen to it as it is quite lovely, reminds me that I was once a true romantic and a believer in love...♥

PRIDE and its downfalls

Pride can do more harm than good...
Dont close your heart to love...
Dont turn away from love...

Dianne

YOU SENT ME AWAY

Hurt turns to anger
in the cold light of day
Now its time for me
to have my say

You don't exist for me
you are no more
Dont come near me again
you are wanted no more

You strung me along
like you did before
Gave you too many chances
wont do that no more

Forgiven you too many times before
never again, no more chances
You will hurt me no more

I trusted you and what have you done
broken my heart
And brought me undone

Maybe I wanted too much of your time
but it would not have mattered
If you were really mine

You showed me no loyalty
never stood my my side
Never believed me
when someone else conspired

What happened to honesty?
that was your big thing
So judgemental of me
but you lied all along

What happened to friendship?
or even to love
I gave you my heart
I gave you my love

Hurting so much now
so much pain
This feeling of emptiness
I know will remain

Called out to you for help
when I needed you most
But you just ignored me
left me lost

You never thought of me
with any regard
Just some kind of plaything
someone to discard

No longer on the roller coaster
of your tormenting ride
All your rules of engagement
no-one could abide

You have broken my heart
I'm breaking inside

But look at you
you just carry on
no-one is aware of the damage you've done

Laughing and mocking
without a care in the world
Now I feel no love for you
nothing at all...

Poem by Dianne

GO AWAY

No going back now
you have sealed my fate
Burnt all the bridges
slammed the gate

The path is blocked now
you have closed the door
Our bond together
is no more

No forgiveness in you
it hardly seems fair
you judged me so harshly
its so hard to bear

What a shame you didn't open your eyes
open your heart and realise
All the loveliness here
I hold inside

All the love that I have
is all for you
No-one has touched my heart
the way you do

One careless lie
amongst many truths
Cant you look past this
and give me your trust

I'm sorry I hurt you
I should not have lied
You have shut me out now
please let me inside

Please don't abandon me
let me in from the dark
Please forgive me
take me back to your heart

One indiscretion
and you throw me away
After all that we shared
You say" GO AWAY"...

Poem by: Dianne
Drawing: Weeping Girl by Dianne

A VALENTINES DAY WISH

Happy Valentines Day to all of my friends who have someone to love and someone who loves them and all those who believe in love and hope to find it...♥

LATE AFTERNOON SUN SETTING ON NATIVE FLORA

These are some photos I took this afternoon of the natural bushland at the end of my street. These native plants are growing on the edge of a deep gully, they aren't displaying their usual beautiful colours at present as we have not had a decent soaking rain for months; they usually look more vibrant and green. But still I find the beauty in these subtle colours of gray green, yellow green and the varying colours of the grasses, it is a different perspective as the setting sunlight bathes them in a golden light.

Silver gray foliage on a wattle tree and the varying colours of the native grass.

One of many clearings which leads to a track which winds its way to the floor of the gully. It is very steep and you pass huge rock shelves, many beautiful native grasses, wattles, eucalyptus (gum) trees, she-oaks and beautiful ferns. It is a long way down.

More grasses and wattles.

She-oaks, wattles, angophoras, eucalypts and grasses.

The colour palette ever changing with the light.

The last of the sunlight bathes the tops of the trees in golden light.

A CHANCE VICE - REGAL ENCOUNTER

Despite the heat and humidity I had a lovely day yesterday, for one thing the air conditioning in my car was most welcomed. I drove my son Matthew, who is suffering from Multiple Sclerosis into the city for he had an appointment at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital medical centre for an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) to see if he has any more lesions in his brain.
These appointments always cause some stress for we don't know the outcome of such tests but always hope for the best.

This area is on the edge of central Sydney so it is very busy and you have three major hospitals, the campus of the University of Sydney so there is much traffic and very little parking, but surprise, surprise thankfully there was an underground car park. That was the first bonus of the day.

After checking in at reception on the ground floor and filling out lots of paperwork ( we are so used to this by now) we went to the first floor for the MRI. I stayed in the waiting room as the imaging takes about an hour; after Matthew was finished we had to return to the ground floor waiting room and make arrangements for the results to be sent to the referring specialist and his neurologist.

Whilst making these arrangements came our second surprise of the day. A very recognisable lady came in to collect her MRI results and was asked for identification, she apologised as she didn't have any ID on her, said she would have to go back to her car, that's where Matthew and I stepped in and informed the receptionist that the lady was in fact Marie Bashir the Governor of New South Wales, Chancellor of the University of Sydney and a practicing medical specialist and psychiatrist.
She smiled and thanked us for vouching for her and thanked us for being two of her loyal subjects, shook hands and from this we had a very pleasant conversation. I was really happy to meet her as she is a wonderful person, who is down to earth despite her high position, always shows humility and she is another of my heroes.
A pleasant encounter indeed, life just surprises us sometimes with these unexpected gems.

I get to visit many hospitals and medical centres in my travels and am always delighted by the art which is displayed on walls in waiting rooms and corridors.
The large painting you see above is in the corridor of the medical centre, I was quite taken by it so of course I had to take a photo, I couldn't see the name of the artist but it reminded me of the style of Mark Rothko.

You can see a reflection of my son on the left,he is slightly bending and if you look closely you can just make out the smaller person just about right of centre of the painting, wearing a cream skirt and white top, that is me.
The window from which the sun is shining overlooks the lovely old sandstone of Saint Andrews College, with its Scottish flag flying proudly, unfortunately I didn't get a photo of this to show you, maybe next time.

I always look for something positive in my travels to these places, like a beautiful painting or a lovely garden, it makes the whole process more bearable and pleasant.
We will have to wait for the results of the MRI, all we can do is hope.