Thursday, February 19, 2009

REIGN OF LOVE



Reign of Love by Coldplay from their CD 'Viva la Vida or Death and all His Friends'

Well faithful friends...if I have any left, its been quite a week, I must be feeling melancholy for I've written two sad poems and a quote in as many days. The second poem was a bit harsh but that was because I am hurting.
I have managed to lose a good friend and someone whom I thought the world of.

It all started with Valentines day you see, my favourite guy forgot me, though I made him a card and sent it.
But no 'thank- you' from him or anything resembling gratitude. No card for me, no flowers just a message as an afterthought... after the day. Gosh, haven't you guys ever heard of Interflora?
Its so nice to be remembered...say it with flowers.

A wise word of advice from one who knows.... now all of you single or available girls out there, those of you who still believe in love and romance...don't go looking for it on the Internet.

In fact don't even look for a true friendship there either...for it might start out nicely but fairly soon he will start some sweet talk and you will respond and you will think you're in love.
Not a very satisfying way to get some romance but words can be beautiful and say a lot... moments shared just like love letters, nothing seedy. You get so hooked on this guy you cant get enough of him he is just so lovely, you want to talk to him and share things with him all of the time and often and he seems to feel the same, everything is going beautifully.

Ah, but after a while he doesn't want an Internet relationship and tells you, of course you cant have a relationship...that monitor is a barrier and it gets in the way, no proper hugs or kisses or anything else...but those words have some compensations.
So friendship is OK if you can stick to it, but if you are like me and you're so in love you cant help yourself and you start slipping some romantic talk back into the conversation and that makes him angry. Well you cant blame him he is a man after all.

So you bombard him with a heap of e-mails in the hope that he will answer, you send him photos, pictures, he does too...well he does seem interested for such a long time...then gradually you get told not to send so many, he doesn't answer, you get concerned, you get berated for asking too many questions and taking up his time and pretty soon it all goes awry. You only wanted to hear from him and talk to him after all you are supposed to be his friend, you are supposed to be special... he doesn't see it that way...you are being far too demanding and you're keeping him from other things more important than you.

Then after a while you don't hear anything and you are tired of being ignored, thoughts of doubt creep into your mind, is there someone else, you feel a little jealous, gee some other girl might be getting all of those words from him that you have come to love so much and when you push the matter suddenly you aren't so attractive or special any more and you get dumped.
Not his fault, he needs someone real...but sadly you still love him.
So girls don't even go there.

I have decided to live my life more dangerously, really put myself out there, gosh its been such a long time since I've had any real loving, last time was with my estranged husband, about eleven years ago. Gosh what a long time between drinks.
In fact the next half decent guy who asks me out will be on a sure thing. I've already been 'popped' so what have I got to lose, just my self respect but where has that got me...lonely and nowhere...my self esteem got lost somewhere along the way ages ago.
Do I sound bitter? You bet I am...but then, I am in self-destruct mode.

So I will leave you with this music from Coldplay, please do listen to it as it is quite lovely, reminds me that I was once a true romantic and a believer in love...

31 comments:

Lee said...

Hang in there, Dianne.

puerileuwaite said...

You have your wonderful children who love you and are counting on you. Many, many people are in similar situations. Life offers no guarantees to happiness for anyone.

Please, for your kids and your own sake, do not do anything foolish. The Internet IS an illusion. It takes most of our lives to get to know our own selves, let alone anyone we actually know in the flesh.

Please seek professional help. Enough said. I won't be commenting anymore on these sorts of topics ... on anyone's blog.

foam said...

i don't know, dianne.
i almost don't know what to say.
but what pug says seems to make sense.

Lee said...

I hope things look better on a new day, Dianne.

If not, consider ringing LifeLine : 13 11 14.

Seriously.

Little Lamb said...

I have no intentions of meeting anyone who I met online in person. It's just a rule I live by. I have met wonderful people online, and have gotten sort of close, but then they go away or I go away.

/t. said...

the lamb
makes sense!

i've never met,
nor have i bbq'd
anyone i met online!

hope you're feeling better soon, dianne

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

dianne said...

Thank you dear Lee for your thoughts I wont do anything stupid. ♥

dianne said...

Puggles my sweet, thank you for your thoughts and your concern.
I wont be writing anything like this again, it was a way of externalising the hurt, but I should have written it on a piece of paper.
I didn't mean to alarm anyone.
I've lived my life 'by the book' all of my life, I wouldn't do anything foolish... I cant, too many people depend on me.

I know life offers no guarantees of happiness for anyone, I only wanted a little. ♥

dianne said...

Thank you Foamie dearest girl, please don't be alarmed I have said too much, its just that the events of this week on top of my normal load of pressures sent me on a downward spiral...I will get over it. ♥

dianne said...

Thanks dearest Lil Lamb , its not the ideal way to meet people.
I don't have time for a social life so I don't get to meet many males and the chances of meeting someone special are really slim. ♥

dianne said...

Thanks dear /t. ,for your wishes, you made me smile with your BBQ comment, you missed a perfect opportunity to make a joke about BBQ'ing the hamster over at Lambie's. ♥

Normal transmission will resume shortly and no more depressing or poems of sorrow...I hope. ♥

foam said...

you do know we luv ya ..

dianne said...

Foamie , my dear friend I know you luv me, and I suspect some of the others do as well, you are all so thoughtful to me and I luv all of you...you are all a part of my life.
Friendship is very important to me.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Thanks for dropping by. Hope you are feeling better.
♥ < See I can do them now!

dianne said...

Thanks dear J Cosmo , I am feeling a little better, I'm keeping busy so that I don't get too mired down in my sadness.
Yes you can do the ♥ heart, that's good, when you have time maybe you could please tell me how you did your hearts, they were very pretty. ♥

J Cosmo Newbery said...

The white hearts? ♡ ♡ ♡

Type & # 9 8 2 5 ; but without the spaces between them. When you post it, it will appear as the symbol. I hope.

♺ All words used in t his comment may be recycled. ♺

dianne said...

Thanks dear J Cosmo ,
doesn't seem to work with my
keyboard but I will keep experimenting. ♥

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Make sure that you include the semicolon at the end. So my recycle sign would be &plus#9850;

Remove the plus

It only appears after you post the comment. ♡

/t. said...

&#9850;   ♺
&#9851;   ♻
&#9852;   ♼
&#9853;

foam said...

dianne said...

Thanks J cosmo, /t. and Foamie, it doesn't work for me, somehow just cant manage to get that heart, I don't have an Apple Mac. ♥

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Shouldn't be a Mac thing.

A test - go to one of my comments and see if you can cut and paste one of the white hearts, thus: ♡

dianne said...

Thanks dear friend, I've tried so many ways as I don't give up easily...I will keep at it and if all else fails I will copy and paste.♥

♡ well at least that worked :-) ♡

dianne said...

You are such a sweetie J Cosmo. ♡

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Phew! ☆☆☆☆

/t. said...

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ
ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ
ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ
ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ
ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ
ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ
ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

The Phosgene Kid said...

Oh no, you met me on the internet - hope I haven't let you down yet...

dianne said...

Thank you for the roses dearest /t. , they are beautiful and you are so thoughtful, a little cheer in the sadness of this morning.
Its amazing how the simple act of kindness is so difficult for some to grasp. ♡

I am still trying to make the code for the 'white' heart work,I usually learn things very quickly but no success this time, I am pasting the heart that j cosmo sent me, he said that I could. ♡

dianne said...

Hello dearest Phossy , its so nice to see you and have you back.

No my dear friend you haven't let me down...I let myself down by being a romantic and hoping for too much...♡

Leovi said...

Excellent album, I heard a lot in 2009 and 2010. Besos.

dianne said...

Yes dear Leovi , it is an excellent album, I think I have almost every album that Coldplay has produced. :)

xoxoxo ♡