Friday, November 21, 2008

WAITING FOR YOU


I wait and wait
but you're not here
With someone else?
that's what I fear

For to my messages
you don't reply
Never answer my questions
I don't know why

Have I come on too strong
by what I say
Have my words of love
scared you away?

Are those words you say
just for me
Or just a part
of your vocabulary?

Is there any sentiment
in what you say
or just words you use
to pass the day?

Do you whisper those words
to other ears
For deep in my heart
that's what I fear?

Don't play with my feelings
for that's not fair
When I offer my love
for you to share

My heart is breaking
cant take much more
Been down that lonely road
before

But I'll not trouble you
with my tears and woes
You don't belong to me
that's how it goes

For I know I'm not wanted
and where I don't belong
Though for your words
I will always long

Pushed my luck
once before
I'll not go back
and open that same door

One day you're hot
next day you're cold
The silence is deafening
don't shut me out in the cold

Maybe one day
I'll hear from you
but until then
I wont bother you...

Poem by Dianne

33 comments:

ANNA-LYS said...

This is really good written.
Sometimes, I wonder if pain
is the most creative source.

A person that is changing
like that has a diagnosis
according to DSM-IV & ICD-10
but, it doesn't make it less
painful for You, dear Dianne.

/t. said...

i think
anna-lys is right:

pain & suffering is source -- use it

another beautiful poem, dianne

feelings above words(!)

¤ ¤ ¤

/t.

puerileuwaite said...

I like it too. Very beautiful and polished; so much so, in fact, that I thought they were song lyrics (they would make excellent lyrics).

Just don't read them out loud in a locker room full of Teamsters, like I did.

foam said...

they Would make great song lyrics. this is really beautiful, dianne. i like the last verse with the open ended 3 dots at the end .....
as in moving on..

Little Lamb said...

I enjoyed your poem. To me, its true.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Nicely written. The reader can feel that it is from the heart, and from the hurt.

dianne said...

Well thank you Anna -Lys for your diagnosis, I hope you aren't going to send me a fee. :)

DSM-IV : Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders.

ICD-10 :Classification of Mental & Behavioural Disorders.

dianne said...

Thank you dear /t. , so pleased you liked it...yes, feelings above words.

♥ ♥ ♥

dianne said...

Oh Puggles my love, thanks for the compliment, you always lift my spirits. ♥

Song lyrics? I never thought of that, I would say some sad 'Country & Western' type music maybe we could get the lovely Shania Twain to sing it for us. :)

Yeah dont go reading out my lyrics in front of your friends or they will think you are crazy like me.:)

I'm not actually - though some people might think so, just having some emotional highs and lows ...but I'm working through it. ♥

dianne said...

Thanks Foamie my dearest friend and new sister, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it. ♥

Sad yes, quite a mix of emotions there...very much from the heart..I'm letting go of the past and hoping the future will be so much brighter. ♥ :)

dianne said...

Thank you dearest Lil Lambie , I'm pleased that you liked my poem...and I'm sorry that its true for you too...I'm sorry if someone is breaking your heart too. ♥

Maybe we should start a girls' club for the 'sad and broken-hearted'.
I hope things work out for you my dear little woolly friend. ♥

dianne said...

Thank you dear J cosmo , it is written very much from the heart and from the hurt...but I refuse to be a victim any more...I'm hoping for better and brighter things. ♥

Lee said...

It's good to get it out. Not flash that it's in there in the first place but good to get it out. Keep looking forward!

dianne said...

Yes dear Lee thank you, its good to get it out, I am so tired of feeling this way, I am sick of myself. ♥
This sad person is not me,yes I am a romantic and very sensitive, but now I am just a shadow of the happy person I used to be. ♥
Yes I am looking forward to moving on and I feel I have started the journey already. ♥ :)

Tonka said...

the Lovely Dianne,
Such beautiful, yet sad words, made me blue and I suppose a little meloncohly, thinking of the way life can change at an instant, a day can become bearable with the kind word from someone that cares, the future can look so much brighter with the magical appearance of a rainbow.

Those of us that have experienced the total and blissful love, know how it feels, and yet it is the people who have a whimsical shallow feelings that are telling us how to feel or what to do.

My wish for you is for a soulmate, someone that totally fills your very being. Someone that you listen for their next breath, you watch them sleep, just for the pleasure of being near them. Someone that consumes your every thought, makes you dizzy with their glance, and you find the heights of extacy with their very touch.

All this is rightfully yours because your a wonderful and giving woman who fills their world with love.

Hugzzz

David

dianne said...

David my dear friend thank you, what a beautiful, caring person you are, I didn't mean to make you blue or melancholy I am just trying to work through this whole thing...and I'm actually making progress, I'm letting go of the hurt and looking forward to brighter days. ♥

Your words are so moving you have made me cry, but not out of sadness they are just so beautiful, I am overcome with emotion. ♥

Oh how wonderful to find such a man as you describe, a soul mate, someone who consumes your every thought...well I thought I had found him way back then but not so, it wasn't to be...I gave it my all, it nearly destroyed me and now I am moving on, there is nothing left for me in the past; I have looked back and all I find is sadness.
Maybe there is someone out there just for me, if there is I hope he finds me but if not I will be alright.
Thank you so much for your kindness. ♥

ANNA-LYS said...

Why should I?????
It wasn't a diagnosis of You,
I don't do that kind of stuff
don't even know how!

I was trying to give You tools
to put the "problem", where the
problem, probably are.

The short forms I used where not meant literary, they where used as signs for that diagnosing are just a bunch of labels of letter and number combinations ... to no help for any human in practise, and with pain .... ohhh I don't know ... I'd better just come here and put a smile ...


here it is

:-D

Pete Bogs said...

wow, Dianne... I hope things work out the way you wish them to... I do know that when you've seen a bad situation before it's probably time to move on...

dianne said...

I was joking dear Anna-Lys , when you quoted those text books and guidelines for MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS, I thought you must be a health care professional and you were giving me your Ann-ANNA-LYS of my present condition. :-D

Everyone knows how much psychologists charge...very expensive...I thought you might charge me a fee for your consultation. :-D

Thanks for your concern. ♥

dianne said...

Very nice to see you Pete my dear, as I said you have been missed. ♥

Yes a bad situation is better left behind and I have done that, just experienced a few emotional 'hiccups', one shouldn't look back I guess...but I am moving on now. :-)

Thanks for visiting. ♥

K9 said...

lovely. im right there with you with those words.

do you have a dog? you know, if you get a dog youll never wait for love again. grrerhaha

i like rottys myself, but i guess a dingo would be a good fit.

i heard a silverchair song on the radio and thought of you.

dianne said...

Thanks dearest K9 pleased that you are with me and understand and that the song made you think of me. ♥

No my dear I dont have a dog at the moment. ♥

Dingo's are protected and cant be adopted as pets, they retain too many of their wild dog instincts. :)
I think Trout is beautiful, I hope she is all healed by now.
One of my friends had a female doberman, she had a wonderful temperament, guess it depends on the dog; she was always great with my children as they were taught to be kind and gentle to animals.
She was such a big baby she would come and sit on my lap for cuddles, but she was also a great guard dog with strangers. Sadly she is no longer with us. :)

ANNA-LYS said...

Have a Lovely weekend, Dianne
and glad You liked the satin illustration

;-)

dianne said...

Good Morning and it is a good morning, because at 7am this morning I experienced an Epiphany...wow a realisation that has made me see myself in a positive light.
K9 dear you are partly responsible for this for you have the confidence and courage to live your life without relying solely on a man for your happiness.
It was something you said to me back in October - 'if your partner chose to be with someone else then there wouldn't be a damn thing you could do about it', how true.
So I am thinking if this guy cant see what he has in me well he doesn't deserve me at all.
Let him go off and pursue this vacuous woman, who is self absorbed, self promoting, has no depth and has him by the balls...she is welcome to him and if he is stupid enough to be taken in by her that's his lack of perception.
I will not lower myself to compete for his affection, for if he is so easily swayed by her attentions and cant see what he has in me well he that's his loss.
If he ever realises what hurt he has caused me with the cruel game he was playing and has any regret well he has a lot of apologising to do to me and a lot of ground work to make up before I would ever consider taking him back into my life. :-) ♥♥♥

K9 said...

yippee! his loss exactly. theres no accounting for taste..grrherhahaha if a vacuous self promoter is what he prefers then let 'em wallow in it. you are a treasure and never forget that. your words and images show me you are quality and you should have nothing less to stand beside you. you may find that being solid and happy within yourself is very attractive to others. you know what that say about taking back dont cha? "like a dog returns to his own puke" grrrerhahahaha what i hope for you is that in the course of living your authentic dianne life the right fit will fall into place. xoxox

dianne said...

Thank you my dear K9 , I just knew you would be happy for me and proud of me...I'm proud of myself...and I will do some self promoting here...I am a treasure, I have depth and anyone who had my love and affection would be most fortunate.
Thank you again. :-) ♥

dianne said...

Oh and thank you Anna- Lys you have a lovely week end as well...I have left a comment over at your blog. ♥
Also about your 'attachment theory', your friend Alien David Sousa is very wise, for if we have to change ourselves and become something we are not in order to be loved and accepted then it is too high a price to pay...we lose so much of whom we really are. ♥

ANNA-LYS said...

Hiya Dianne,
To bad You didn't tell her at my blog
So she could "hear" it :-)

dianne said...

Anna-Lys, it is your blog I didn't want to take liberties. ♥

boneman said...

must be a good year for white roses.
Anna-Lys has one made in sheets at her blog. Very pretty they are.
It would be a grande way for a gent to, ....entertain a suitor.

Well, you certainly sound resolute in your goal, and I gotta tell ya, when some people put on that goal, they just head straight for it. Usually attain it.
As a painter I find myself doing that on too little occassions.
I have long been one who paints from being there, just never realized it until seven, eight years back.

Are you serious about putting it to country and western music?
Like Wilie Nelson or Black Oak Arkansas?

dianne said...

Yes Boney I love white roses and I have seen the beautiful sheet over at Anna- Lys's blog, maybe you noticed my comment when you were there.
A suitor for Anna-Lys eh...well maybe she will let you try them out. ♥

You do alright as a painter Boney, you stick with it and your works are beautiful, I've been over and had a good look at them. Then there's your lovely drawings, your photos and videos, they are all works of art. ♥

Yes I am resolute in my goal,have to make some changes, tired of living in the past, tired of people thinking they can treat me how they want and hurting me all of the time, I dont deserve that for when I love someone I am fully committed. ♥

No actually Pug suggested that the poem sounded like song lyrics and Foamie as well, I thought they are so damn pathetic and sad that they would be good for a 'country and western' type song, thought of Shania Twain, never thought of Willie Nelson, for the song is from the heart of a broken hearted girl. ♥

Thanks so much for stopping by dear, nice to see you here again.♥

The Phosgene Kid said...

Reminds me of a poem I wrote once - "If you want a friend, buy a dog." Same vein, not as well done as yours, I fear.

dianne said...

Thanks for that dear Phos , a cute little poem, its the thought that counts.
Maybe you could make me one of those 'flat lambs' to cheer me up? ♥ :)