Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Restless...


I was feeling quite restless earlier this evening, I dont know why, I guess I expect more out of life than I am getting even though I invest so much of myself into making it more satisfying...I dont ask for much, but still I am not content.

I put so much of myself into friendships and relationships and I foolishly expect others to be the same and then when they arent I feel disappointed and let down...
I shouldnt expect so much.

I decided to go for a walk as that always makes me feel better and expends some of the extra physical and mental energy I need to dissipate.
We had a violent electrical storm here last night which was rather exciting, it always fascinates me when the sky puts on its spectacular light show accompanied by the cracking, thunderous noise... all of this preceded some very heavy rain which is always welcomed.

Autumn here is a lovely season, I really enjoyed my walk even though it was dark...just before nighfall there were many crickets and frogs singing, such a comforting sound. The temperature here tonight is a pleasant 22c /71F; there is a balmy breeze blowing, just sofly enough to rustle the leaves on the trees.
The sky is a beautiful dark blue, not many stars visible as it is cloudy and the moon is partially obscured, it seems to be sitting up there on a dark, puffy cloud, waiting to emerge from its rest. No shooting stars to wish on tonight either; you can feel the moisture in the air so I think we will be getting some more rain.
Something very soothing about falling asleep to the sound of rain and that lovely fresh fragrance.

There were lots of sweet fragrances as I walked along, the distinct smell of gardenia blossoms mixed with other flowers which were no doubt from many other blossoms both wild and exotic and the low hanging brances of eucalyptus leaves... as I brushed them out of my way...leaving their fresh oil on my hands.
Most of the illumination came from the white light of the street lighting as I passed underneath, so many moths hovering around drawn to the light.

I always have many thoughts when I am walking along, I problem solve, sometimes think of a poem, its a good way to clear away the cobwebs. I was thinking how fortunate I am to live in an area where I able to walk around at night without any fear of being shot by a gun, sure there is plenty of crime here but not to the same extent of some areas.
The only thing I have to be watchful for are creepy guys and I'm sure there are some around but they wouldnt want to take me on for I have one mean karate kick... but I am careful.

Well I am back home now feeling much more relaxed and rested and tomorrow is another day, who knows what that will bring...lets hope its a good one. ♥

30 comments:

Diane said...

Restless has been my word/mood of choice lately, too. Sigh.

Your walk sounds lovely and you sound SO aware... we all need to be that... I need to be more so.

Here's to a brilliant tomorrow! xo

findingmywingsinlife said...

Yes, I agree, the word restless does fit right now. Beautiful post, I too enjoy a good walk about. Although, I happen to like midnight walks a tad better..don't know why that is, just do.

boneman said...
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foam said...

what a lovely peaceful walk you've had.
i felt as if i was there.

as far as friendships go ..
i've learned a long time ago not to expect too much .. :)
and, i've learned that sometimes i don't give enough myself perhaps ..

it's not that i think that folks don't care .. it's just that people have a tendency to get sucked into their own personal vortex from which it is sometimes hard to peak beyond.

dianne said...

Thanks Diane my dear, I'm pleased you enjoyed my post.

I dont like feeling restless or uncertain about my life and the things that are happening in it but the walk did definitely help.

I am very aware of my surroundings, I have always been that way, its good as I notice the most subtle things around me and always like to have a closer look, you find so many beautiful things in nature and all kinds of things that way. ♡

Thanks, my morning started off very nicely and the rest of the day wasnt too bad either. ♡

dianne said...

Thanks April dear, I think everyone must be feeling restless, maybe its the changing of the Seasons, I cant really understand why I am feeling this way apart from some of the points I have mentioned.

I wouldnt venture out at midnight here, I prefer to walk while people are still up and there are lights on in the houses, just in case I got into strife...I always take my cell/mobile phone with me...we girls cant be too careful, so you take care as well. ♡

dianne said...

Lol Boney now i have a mental picture of you blowing smoke out of your butt...what?

Gosh I'm not as fit or as keen as you are, I walk about 5km/8miles at a steady pace, no running I like to enjoy the scenery even if its dark.
Your giving up smoking was the best thing you could do for yourself and the woodchopping is a great exercise...tummies are the hardest place to remove excess fat from, push-ups and K9 recommends ab crunches. :-)
Anyway you look really good, so I wouldnt worry too much...just do stretches and keep flexible...Tai Chi is good for the body and the mind. ♡

If I went 20 miles it would take me out onto the expressway, which is not a safe place to be...its different for girls, though guys can get into strife as well. ♡

Happy Painting! :-)

dianne said...

Thanks Foamie my dear friend, I'm pleased that you enjoyed the walk with me, I was thinking of you.
I always feel so much better after I have had a good walk, it uses up all of those excess energies I seem to have lately. ♡

You're right I shouldnt put too many expectations on friendships and relationships, people have their own lives to live its just that I give of my time and myself most generously, I try to help whenever I am needed,I'm not seeking praise just a little more recognition as a person... maybe I should just back off a little...probably a good idea, I think I try to overcompensate for my loneliness. ♡

boneman (and his wild zinnia) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dianne said...

Thanks Boney dear, its a pretty yellow. ♡

K9 said...

the big dog comes from san francisco where there are eucalyptus forests too and that smell takes him back to his childhood. i love the sound of the leaves in the wind. how lovely a walk. i think i might follow your lead and take a hike tomorrow afternoon - i am going up to chickory (with the four chicks and rhodesian ridgeback riding...erk) and looking forward to destressing from the ATL.

this was a beautiful post. you remind me of annie dillard. you know her?

dianne said...

Thanks K9 dear, I've heard of the eucalyptus forests which were planted in the 1930's.

I am so fortunate here, when you approach from three directions you travel over rivers...as soon as you get closer you are aware of that fresh bushland fragrance and when you venture into the valley where I took the photos the fragrance is intensified, like all forests I guess.
I'm sure chickory has its own beautiful fragrance. :)

It was such a balmy evening when I went for my walk, just enough breeze to hear the leaves flutter softly, I love that sound and the coolness on my face.

I sometimes go to the local supermarket at night, to pick up some milk and things, this and the carpark were built in the middle of a turpentine forest and though a lot of land was cleared so much of the forest is left and there is a protected nature reserve surrounding it and a park.
I always take the time to stop and look at the sky which is always some spectacular shade of blue depending on how long it has been since sunset and smell the air which is always sweet and fresh.

There is so much beauty around if we just stop for a second and look for it, I know you see it as it is so evident in your paintings. ♡

I hope you all have a restful time at chickory, I'm sure the chicks and Trout will appreciate the peace and of course you and the big dawg.
Enjoy your hike in that serene sanctuary, I love the sound of your creek from the video.
Have you planted out your garden patch yet.
I have heard of Annie Dillard, thanks thats quite a compliment ...I always describe things from my perception, no fiction in my writing either...straight from the heart. ♡

K9 said...

no big dog doesnt go everytime. it is a get away. for she wolves.

ANNA-LYS said...

Changes in nature and/or other electric happenings, are like treatments (not meaning as in Forman's "The Cuckoo's Nest"), but we are not always aware of that our moods shifts in relation to natures shifts, and climate changes.

C.G. Jung hi lightened the importance of harmony and balance in relation to the surrounding (mostly in a social means). He thought that much problems could be solved by moving to an other place (he went so far as he meant that diagnosis of subjects was a mirror of the society, so instead of medicine drugs or wards, he encouraged people to move to an other place.

I think that this is what You do when you take Your walkabouts. When You feel sorrow or emptiness, You turn to the nature and interact with the flowers. But, hey, hey ... watch out for the bees!!!!! :-p

Have a Lovely weekend, my friend!

dianne said...

Well K9 my dear, you and the other 'she wolves' have a great time, I wish I cold join you in that beautiful place.

I keep looking at my beautiful 'Blue Ridge' cards and I can smell the forest and hear the creek. ♡

puerileuwaite said...

I feel exactly the same! And not just about expecting very little from others, but ALSO problem-solving on my walkabouts.

The problem is: by the time I return from MY walkabout, I'm too tired to actually solve the problem.

I think the solution is to devise a desk with a built-in treadmill. I'll design one as soon as I return from my next walkabout. Unless I'm too tired.

dianne said...

Thanks Anna- Lys , for sure the weather effects our mood, when we are about to have a storm the air is charged with positive ions and I feel very much alive when there is a storm.

I am very in tune with the Seasons and the subtle differences in the atmosphere from day to day, I love mornings for instance,sunrise, a day begins and it holds so much promise.

I love the beauty of the sunset and the evening sky with the beautiful moon and stars.

Yes I do go walkabout when I am sad or restless but I also enjoy walking for the sheer delight of being outside in the fresh air, exercising and looking at all that nature has to offer us.

Yes I love the flowers and I will be careful of the bees. :-)

You have a lovely weekend as well. ♡

dianne said...

You know what Puggles my sweet, I should listen to that old quote "if you dont expect too much then you wont be disappointed"...
words I should have etched in my brain...because whether deliberate or not some people never treat me in the way I would hope.

I am a loving, affectionate, caring person and to have a little of that returned sometimes would be welcomed.

I'm not referring to any of you, I'm talking about my personal life.

That desk with a built in treadmill sounds like a great invention, I hope you remember to design it after your walkabout.

I think I might go for a walk now and maybe I can solve some of my problems and work out where I went wrong. ♡

/t. said...

oh dianne,

restless still?!?

maybe you need a hobby...

WRESTLING!

i hear that croc wrestling is a popular pastime in your country

<3 <3 <3

/t.

dianne said...

Oh /t. dear

Lol, you are misinformed about the croc wrestling and besides that I am
very feminine, I dont go in for 'blood' sports or mud wrestling. :-)

I think maybe I need a man!

I am not so restless today, it comes and goes but thanks for your suggestion...I think?? ♡ ♡ ♡

foam said...

you know, dianne ..
that's why we gravitate to you ..
because we know you are a sincere loving and caring person ..
well, at least that's why i gravitate to you.

enjoy your walk about ..
take me with you?

dianne said...

Thank you dearest Foamie , I know you believe in me and its so nice to have someone as sweet and kind as yourself as a friend and follower. ♡

You can always come on my walkabouts, you would be great company.
I was thinking about you the other night and when you posted that beautiful photograph of the steps leading down to that forest where you walk, I copied the photo and often look at how beautiful it is...it is so much more beautiful than my valley when you see the beautiful greens and different hues of blue in the hills.

When I worked in a different suburb a long time ago I used to drive into the sunrise and then back home into the sunset...I was thinking of how you wrote that in your 'road' post, I used to get headaches even though I wore sunglasses, I think its the glare, maybe part of the reason why you get migraines.

Thank you again sweet Foamie. ♡

Helene (the Artist Formerly Known as Kate) said...

I just wrote a post that will never get published about similar feelings. I feel selfish for complaining, but no one can tell you how to feel...

Perhaps I will take your advise and go for a walk. Actually I definitely will.

Thanks and I hope that the mood breaks for the both of us!

foam said...

♡♡♡
♡♡

dianne said...

Helene dear you should publish it, how we all feel is important and sometimes sharing it helps us all feel better and gives us a better understanding of our own feelings and those of others.

If you are down definitely go for a walk, I find it always helps me.

Thanks dear, I hope we are both happier soon. ♡

dianne said...

Foamie dear friend

♡♡♡
♡♡


I'm so grateful that I have you and all of my friends. :-)

ANNA-LYS said...

How has Your weekend passed?
Have You got some rest and strength for the upcoming week?

<3

dianne said...

Thank you Anna-Lys , I have had a lovely weekend and I am rested and ready for the week ahead. ♡

How about you?

The Mess said...

That thing about measurement of temperature must be tricky for you who are used with F. I am lucky who was born with c...

dianne said...

Hello M dear, another message I find you have left for me...we converted to the metric system in 1972 so its not so bad, I have a conversion table when relating temperatures and measurements to my American friends.♡