Monday, March 22, 2010

Are You Gone Forever?

Are you gone forever?

How long has it been?
The days I have counted are many
Deprived of your words
I cry myself to sleep each night
Tears, like petals falling ... slowly, softly

I never thought your last words were "Goodbye"
I always thought you would return ...
I grow weary of searching in shadows
where once I would find you
watching over me
But now you are not there, just emptiness
And I have no hope ...I miss you

I wonder where you are
I envy the moonlight which shines on you
I wonder when you look upon it
do you ever think of me
For I might be there watching
at the same time thinking of you
Looking from my part of the sphere

I envy those who share your days
do they need your words more than I ?
I envy the cup from which you sip
for your lips have touched it
but I have never felt your kiss upon mine ...

Your words to me were like water to my thirst
and now I go unquenched
My heart to dry up and wither
like a flower who needs the rain
Now I will just fade away
like so many neglected flowers ...

Hope, like petals falling away ... softly
floating sadly on the breeze.

Poem by Dianne D.

Painting 'Boreas' - John William Waterhouse

Boreas: Ancient Greek personification of the Northern wind.


J Cosmo Newbery said...

Oh. That's sad.

I hope you find your knight, Dianne!

dianne said...

Thank you dear J Cosmo

Sad, yes and heartfelt, just expressing some feelings but I am alright ... sometimes friends we care for disappear from our lives for their own reasons,we just think they will be with us always. I think I was expecting too much and read too much into his words ... we hope they will return because we miss them and wonder how they are ... but life is filled with disappointment, we just learn to accept things as they are and get on with it ...

I'm not looking for a knight my friend, 'A Maidens's Plea' was just a poem ... I'm quite used to being on my own. xoxoxo ♡

chickory said...

another beauty of love and loss. sounds like you have the makings of some potpourri. the dried flowers and seedpods and leaves in a crystal bowl to admire -and remember when once they were fresh and supple.

Maha said...

That poem is like the soft wind, tender, beautiful yet so powerful you feel you want to fly away with it. Truly amazing.

dianne said...

Thank you dear Maha
what a lovely thing to say, I'm so pleased that it made you feel that way ... it came from the depths of my heart. xoxo ♡

dianne said...

Thank you Chickory dear,

Sad and disappointing, I do care about this man, he is a good person, he has never promised me anything, I am hoping he might read this if he ever visits here, then he will know how much I miss him ... but after all of the time which has passed without one word from him, I am not hopeful...

You made me laugh, yes I do have the makings of a good potpourri when you put all of those things together ... but thank goodness I am still fresh and supple. :) xoxo ♡

J Cosmo Newbery said...

You're not? That's not what the poem says. Maybe not a knight in the horse and rust remover sense but a knight none-the-less. Or did I misunderstand the poem?

foam said...

words gently woven together of yearning and woe...
of lost hope...
they are beautiful, but also sad.

the absence has been long.

dianne said...

No dear J Cosmo

I'm not looking for a knight of any kind, just think of all that polishing I would have to do to keep the armour shining.
If I ever happen across a dashing knight or an ordinary man whom I could love then I might be tempted, but until then I remain alone, but fairly content. :) xoxo ♡

dianne said...

Thank you my dear Foamy

It is a sad poem,just expressing how I feel ... being a romantic is not such a good way to be...I should have kept my words to myself ...

Yes the absence of any contact has been a while and I worry for him as he is such a fine man ... I just thought if he cared for me at all as a friend I would have heard from him by now ... maybe it was 'goodbye'.

Please don't worry about me, I am fine, I have become much more resilient since last year and have learned not to hope for too much. xoxoxo ♡

foam said...

i do believe you are fine. and you don't have to keep such words to yourself. this is your space to express yourself. but, poetry evokes moods and this beautiful poem evokes a mood a yearning and sadness ....
for me, at least.

dianne said...

Yes dear friend Foamy
I am fine most of the time, I try to stay focused on what is positive in my life but sometimes especially when I go to bed at night I feel very alone ... all is quiet and it is then that I feel the emptiness ...
Of course you are right this is my space to express my feelings and my poem is beautiful in a sad way ... I just don't want to hurt him as he is a good man, I have no anger for him and he did not promise me anything so I should not have any expectations, I just miss him and his kindness. xoxo ♡

ANNA-LYS said...

O how empty life would be
if we didn't have the capacity
for longing. Longing evokes
both our most beautiful, sad and horrible feelings - in a way longing is the difference between being a person or a zombie. Dear Dianne, You are absolutely not a zombie! Beautiful person!

dianne said...

Thank you dear Anna-Lys

That is sweet of you.

How true, if we didn't have the capacity to feel longing and express these feelings and emotions then we would be very cold indeed ... we would lack empathy, affection and humanity, something we all need ... it's just that I go a little too far sometimes in expressing how I feel... xoxoxo ♡

Photo Glyn said...

Hi Dianne, good poem, believable, inevitably, based on experience. If it's the guy I'm thinking of, he won't connect with you I feel certain, though he may well still be watching from the shadows I think.

The poem is grief, very natural and very understandable. We don't even need to have physically met a person to feel grief or sadness at what never was either.

I enjoyed the poem because it is sad. I also look forward to the day when a new muse lifts your heart so that you will write about empty shadows but fun filled light :-) (not for me, but for you :-))

dianne said...

Thanks Glyn dear for your lovely comment ...

Yes the poem is believable because I am speaking of my feelings and experience ... yes it is sad and there is grief for what I may have lost, what I have most probably lost ...

No, it is not the guy you are thinking of, not the one from last year, he has moved on and I doubt very much that he is watching me from the shadows and that is fine with me, I have also moved on.

The man of whom I now speak has been with me for a very long time and has been watching out for me, he is gentle and kind and also by being a good friend helped me to let go of the hurt I was feeling.

I don't know that he will ever return because I did not realise just how much he meant to me and I feel my indifference to his feelings has sent him away.

He is also a very private person and now I feel I have made a grave mistake in writing this poem and making these comments as he will be embarrassed by all of it ... but I have had no way of contacting him since he went and wanted to let him know how much he is missed.

One day Glyn dear, I will write a poem that has no shadows, that is filled with happiness and light, happiness which requires no muse, just light from within. xoxoxo ♡

puerileuwaite said...

I'm like Frosty the Snowman. I always come back again some day. Usually after the restraining order expires, but that is coincidental.

/t. said...

well done, dianne

sad, but very well done

hopin' you find some relief from your loss

× × ×


dianne said...

Thank you Puggles my sweet,
I don't think there is anything 'frosty' about you and I hope you will always come back to me, my little world would be incomplete without your presence. xoxo ♡

dianne said...

Thank you dear /t. for your kind words.

Yes it is sad but I am pleased that you could appreciate the beauty in my feelings.

I don't know that there will be any immediate relief from how I feel at present ... but I will be fine, I have to be.

There is only a very slim chance that this man will ever see this, I don't know that he ever looks here and even if he did it does not guarantee that he shall wish to contact me again or leave me a message. xoxo ♡

Percy Bisque Silley said...

True Love Phoenix

O woesome dolesome dirge!
And yet must dawn another day,
Another Dawn,
Another love, another Urge
Must come in Time's temporal
Vagrancies to speak
O Hark! It is my True Love come again,
Another different one!

On everything depends
True Love, True Love again
Must always be
The Answer and the Cure
Until that True Love fades.
Tis then you enter True Love Rehab
To rebound A'ready and A’fresh
For True Love's next
And (let Us assume) its final Round!

O Life, O Love, O Truth!

"True love sells a lot of movie tickets; therefore it must be true."

From the Philosophicus Maximus, translation from the Greek by Babelfish.

dianne said...

Thank you dear Sir Percy

It is such a beautiful, thoughtful poem and you are so sweet.

And like the Phoenix
I shall rise
From the ashes once again
For love is but a fleeting thing
And I shall give it wings
For how much can my poor heart take
It has been broken far too oft
For love can be so fickle
And my heart it is too soft ...

Yours in appreciation
Lady Dianne. xoxo ♡

Shweta Tiwari said...

Sad but beautiful words..u r such a wonderful writer.
and the piantings u choose suit to ur words in every poem.
hope you get relief soon from this pain.
Take care dear

dianne said...

Thank you for your kind words Schweta dear, yes I do try to choose an image which will reflect something of the message of the poem.

I am so confused and hurt, I really don't know what to think, nor do I know why I am being ignored by him, maybe he does not want my friendship any more but an explanation would be most welcome if he ever visited here and saw this post.
I will take care sweet girl,
love Dianne. xoxoxo ♡

J Cosmo Newbery said...

There was a woman who posted regular on my blog in the early days who, for reasons best known to herself, went back and deleted all her comments.

It is an act of the utmost cruelty.

Peter @ Enviroman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dianne said...

Yes dear J Cosmo
for whatever reason it is very cruel, why do people do these things, why don't they just leave their comments as they are and then not comment again, even a simple explantion would suffice. xoxoxo ♡

The Mess said...

Longing.. are we not all longing.. for something.

Sunshine on your body.. or inside.

And you can long for that feeling of longing for someone..

dianne said...

Yes M dear

I guess we are all longing for something or someone ...
but the hope of the sunshine on our skin can be a reality due to the seasons, but to have the love of someone can be complicated or a futile wish... xoxo ♡

I hope you are feeling better now.

Craftsman of light said...

i could relate to the feelings in your poem....they glow like stars because they rise from the night's ocean.

From the slash, the light drips through words offering its peace and quietness.
But you alone will know how the light aches out of the burning ache through which the self expands.

Thankyou for opening my own sensitivities to that which learns to smile from its sadness because the wonders of life and love is even more closer to us than we believe....

dianne said...

Thank you dear Col

Of course someone with your deep sensitivity and capacity for feeling love would understand the depth of this poem,the ache in my heart,it is a poem of longing and hope...

I still had hope when this was written but that has now been taken away from me, hope of him returning, I have been very cruelly brought back to reality and a quiet sadness has crept into my heart.

But I cannot let go of life, I must sadly come to terms with this for as each time we are hurt we do lose something of ourselves but we also learn that we will recover eventually, maybe not completely but close.
So please don't let my unhappy ending to this change your mind about love, for I can still smile through this sadness when I think of the moments that we had shared, they give me a feeling of warmth as they did mean something at the time and I would not have wanted to go through life without ever knowing him...the memories are worth all of the pain.

Hugs to you dearest friend,
Dianne xoxoxo ♡

Leovi said...

Great lyric poem with a very passionate. I love it.

dianne said...

Thank you dear Leovi , I am so pleased that you loved my poem, it was very heartfelt and relevant at the time...I was very sad but not now, he did return and now we are friends.

Saludos. xoxoxo ♡