Jealousy, the green eyed monster, a very destructive emotion. I don't know whether any of you have ever experienced this emotion but I am ashamed to say that it has crept into my thoughts just recently; I should not have let it get the better of me, I am better than this.
I have said things that are so unlike me and probably hurt the recipient and now he most likely thinks I'm a monster . I have been feeling so hurt; you put your trust in someone because you genuinely care for them and hope that they will feel the same about you. They say sweet things to you and you believe them thinking this is something really beautiful that you are sharing.
But you are so blinded by your love and emotions that you don't realise that there is someone else there as well, who is tempting your lover away from you, with her pretense of helplessness, saying all of the right things that he wants to hear, promising delights that turn him on, you don't know maybe she is more beautiful and sexy and appeals and fascinates him more. You dont stand a chance he has fallen for her charms and you know you are fighting a losing battle.
She wins in the end and he leaves you behind in a confused, broken-hearted mess, a miserable, crying shadow of whom you really are feeling betrayed trying to pick up the pieces of your life. You pour out your heart, all of the rage you have expressed, pleading dont throw what we have away ,trying to make him see things from your point of view but this has just alienated you even more, he doesn't want to listen. You are left with a feeling of exhaustion and emotional emptiness. I guess you get so much more with honey than by being truthful.
Now the preceding two paragraphs are about something that happened in the past. Yes the little 'fling 'that caused so much hurt didn't last and guess what, he wanted me back. I never stopped loving him so I thought we could try again and I would give him another chance. I didn't mention the affair again or throw it back in his face because that would have been destructive. It took me a long time to trust him again and open myself up completely to him as I was still nursing my wounds and they hadn't completely healed.
All went well for quite a few months then he did it to me again...that was it as far as I was concerned, all that hurt for nothing and then my trust being shattered once more, I felt like I had lost all of my self esteem for being such a fool. So I told myself no more and have shut myself down ever since and not let anyone else get too close.
Then just recently I met someone really nice who seemed to open up my heart again and I felt that warmth of love, but the situation is impossible and I hoping for too much have blown it by being demanding and wanting to be loved again so much, he doesn't seem to feel the way I do, so I have accused him of wanting someone else, the jealousy thing again and now I have lost once more. I think I will just dig a hole and bury myself.
And guys even though I love and admire you, sometimes you are so taken in by these women you sometimes only think with your dicks and not your brains. Sorry but I had to say it ; next time your eyes start to wander make sure you are not leaving behind the best girl you will ever have. . .
I have said things that are so unlike me and probably hurt the recipient and now he most likely thinks I'm a monster . I have been feeling so hurt; you put your trust in someone because you genuinely care for them and hope that they will feel the same about you. They say sweet things to you and you believe them thinking this is something really beautiful that you are sharing.
But you are so blinded by your love and emotions that you don't realise that there is someone else there as well, who is tempting your lover away from you, with her pretense of helplessness, saying all of the right things that he wants to hear, promising delights that turn him on, you don't know maybe she is more beautiful and sexy and appeals and fascinates him more. You dont stand a chance he has fallen for her charms and you know you are fighting a losing battle.
She wins in the end and he leaves you behind in a confused, broken-hearted mess, a miserable, crying shadow of whom you really are feeling betrayed trying to pick up the pieces of your life. You pour out your heart, all of the rage you have expressed, pleading dont throw what we have away ,trying to make him see things from your point of view but this has just alienated you even more, he doesn't want to listen. You are left with a feeling of exhaustion and emotional emptiness. I guess you get so much more with honey than by being truthful.
Now the preceding two paragraphs are about something that happened in the past. Yes the little 'fling 'that caused so much hurt didn't last and guess what, he wanted me back. I never stopped loving him so I thought we could try again and I would give him another chance. I didn't mention the affair again or throw it back in his face because that would have been destructive. It took me a long time to trust him again and open myself up completely to him as I was still nursing my wounds and they hadn't completely healed.
All went well for quite a few months then he did it to me again...that was it as far as I was concerned, all that hurt for nothing and then my trust being shattered once more, I felt like I had lost all of my self esteem for being such a fool. So I told myself no more and have shut myself down ever since and not let anyone else get too close.
Then just recently I met someone really nice who seemed to open up my heart again and I felt that warmth of love, but the situation is impossible and I hoping for too much have blown it by being demanding and wanting to be loved again so much, he doesn't seem to feel the way I do, so I have accused him of wanting someone else, the jealousy thing again and now I have lost once more. I think I will just dig a hole and bury myself.
And guys even though I love and admire you, sometimes you are so taken in by these women you sometimes only think with your dicks and not your brains. Sorry but I had to say it ; next time your eyes start to wander make sure you are not leaving behind the best girl you will ever have. . .
