Here Is My Heart: In My Own Defense

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

In My Own Defense

I am writing this in my own defense just in case any of you think I am heartless and unfeeling.

Boneman posted a graphic photo of his little dog Gni Gni's anal cancer on his blog First Farm and Weather Report today, there were a few comments posted, one by his friend Jean, first of all only one by me whereby I was offering my sincere opinion and support as to what might be done and what the subsequent outcome for GniGni would be.
There were a few comments by others, one by anonymous criticising PETA, after their comment.

Then PETA the animal rights people had their say accusing Boneman of animal cruelty and some heated comments were exchanged between the two parties.

Now all of a sudden I have been thrown into same category as PETA by Boneman as he has accused me of taking their side, which is not true, I said nothing about euthanasing GniGni now but in a very nice way I did say that since she has cancer that might be the inevitable outcome despite all of medications, the loving care and attention Boneman is giving her.

Then Boneman launched a few unwarranted and uncalled for comments at me, to which I replied again trying to explain myself...these fell on deaf ears, he had already made up his mind on how he wanted to percieve my comment..the same reaction to my e-mails.

I'm sorry Boneman if I gave you the impression I was siding with PETA as I was not and if you had read my comment in a calm and fair way you would realise that...I'm also sorry that you felt you had to end our friendship over this...and no this is not a 'howl out' for attention as you would put it.

I am not writing this expecting any comments or support from any of you, nor am I critising Boneman, he is a great guy and I know he is your friend...I'm merely explaining my comment so that you dont think I am heartless and would not give a little dog a last chance at life.

I might take a break for a while, I should have just kept my mouth shut and not given a sympathetic comment to someone whom I thought was my friend, it seems I cant do anything right and I dont need any of this shit at the moment.
Please excuse my language and this erratic post, I'm more than a little upset you see. ♥

Goodbye for now...

My comment...

dianne said...: Boney dear that is terrible and so sad, I'm sorry... are you sure she is not in any pain?
I know you have consultations with the vet, has he/she given you any hope or indication of her recovering from this?

If not you may have to make that inevitable decision,I know you love her and you are doing all you can for her and at the risk of alienating our friendship I must say I'm sure youwouldnt want to see her get worse if there is no hope of recovery. ♡; April 28, 2009 6:19 PM

13 comments:

Diane said...: Oh honey, I'm sorry you're so upset! I haven't seen the post or the comments (I can't seem to find the one you named in Boneman's list of blogs) but I read your comment as you copied it here.

To me, it came across as concern for an animal who might be in pain. I did see the picture of Gni Gni and that was my first question to Boneman... "Is she in pain?" It looked painful, though Boneman says she doesn't seem to be hurting, which is good.

I've had dogs I've loved with all my heart and the idea of seeing any of them suffer is/was something I couldn't stand. But I have met people who couldn't let their pets go, even when they were in pain, because it was too hard... I understand that, too. It's something that has to be done, though, if you love the animal.

Now, I'm NOT saying that's what Boneman is doing, of course!! I trust that he knows his dog and knows she's not suffering at the moment. What I am saying is that I read your comment to mean you were expressing that same sort of concern I felt when I asked if she was in pain, and that if the condition worsens and becomes painful, the decision would have to be made (as putting an animal down when it's in pain with no hope of recovery is obviouisly the humane and loving thing to do).

I hope you all can sort this out and that feelings can be repaired. I don't know you well but I think I know you well enough to know you'd never hurt another soul intentionally. I think your words were simply misinterpreted and I hope that's the conclusion reached by all.

Take care... XOXO; April 30, 2009 at 12:27 AM
Diane said...: I did finally see all the comments and I still believe your words were misinterpreted, especially coming on the heels of the animal rights activist's comment.

What's sort of interesting is that everyone, I think, has poor little Gni Gni's best interests at heart. No one wants to see her suffer. People who love animals never want to see ANY animal suffer. But the activist jumped to a conclusion about her condition (and expressed it very badly, I think, without asking for any sort of further information)... then you offered up an opinion/suggestion for what might be necessary down the road (down the road being the key - and missed - point, I think)... and Boneman, who loves his dog, got upset at the perceived arrogance of those upset by his poor dog's condition.

It's awful all around.

I'm so sorry. Again, I hope you all can sort it out and still be friends.; April 30, 2009 at 12:53 AM
grumpy said...: after the generosity you showed me with the chicken saga i know for a FACT your heart is golden. so does everybody else. cut bait on that mercurial fish.

btw, peta got caught red handed putting dogs and cats that they killed while in their care in dumpsters. its a bullsh*t marxist group like all the other controllers.; April 30, 2009 at 12:59 AM
dark foam said...: there's really no need to defend yourself, dianne..

♡♡♡; April 30, 2009 at 10:19 AM
dianne said...: Thanks Diane , Grumpy :) and Foamie my dearest friends for kind words and understanding comments.

I have been over to Bonemans blog Time Flies tonight to see the latest post on GniGni and PETA.
If you scroll down to the bottom of his sidebar there is an hourglas there which is a link to First Farm where he has posted that photo of GniGni and the comments are still there.

He has made a further comment to me telling me to research whom I support, meaning PETA: its funny you know because I had never heard of this organisation until yesterday.
He is still convinced that I have taken sides with them which is not true.
I support the Animal Welfare League and RSPCA here in OZ and WSPA which is an international welfare organisation.

I had an e-mail from Boneman this morning saying that GniGni is fine, along the same lines as his post today, but he is still convinced that I have a death wish for her which is simply not true.

I hope they spend many happy more times together, I would do the same for my pet until I had to make that decision.

I love animals,I have already told him that, my kitty of 14 years was suffering from kidney problems and with the vets help I did all I could to make him comfortable but when it got to the stage where his kidneys were failing I made that decison as I could not stand by and let him suffer an agonising death.
I cuddled my kitty in my arms and asked the vet to give him a pre-med of valium, when he was completely relaxed the injection of sodium pentathol was given, he drifted off without any pain.
I held him for so long and cried as I was heartbroken, poor little love was wet from tears, it is never an easy decision and one that I would never make lightly.
Boneman knows this as I have told him.

I have left a further comment over at the post at First Farm, though I feel I am wasting my breath, some people just get an idea in their head and there is no reasoning with them.

Friendship? I dont know about that any more, Boneman seems to have no problems with saying things to hurt me and he throws me away so easily so I dont think he values me as a friend and doesnt really think that much of me.
Yes Grumpy :) dear, he runs hot and cold, a little bit of warm moderate behaviour would be nice.
Thanks you do know that I'm a good person dont you?
Thanks Diane dear for that wish too but I cant see it happening, an apology for his mean spirited comments to me would be appreciated.
And Foamie my dear I know I dont have to justify myself but I felt I had to, I dont want folks thinking ill of me or that I dont love animals and have their best interests at heart.

You three girls take good care of yourselves and thanks again for being here for me. ♡♡♡

I hope Boneman spends many more happy times with GniGni, I wish them both well.; April 30, 2009 at 8:11 PM
Anonymous said...: This has become an ongoing saga between you and Boneman, too often we find you defending yourself, shocked by his actions or words and hurting from these events. You keep saying you see him as a friend and so on but to the outsider, in the cold light of day, your on line communications display everything but. There seems to be something rather disturbing between you both, so for both your sakes, why don't you just sever your links with each other and stop publicly beating each other up? It's good for no one, but especially yourselves. Take care Dianne X; May 1, 2009 at 2:05 AM
dianne said...: Thanks Glyn dear, for your always thoughtful and sensible comments.
I had to defend myself here, you most likely didnt see the original post over at Bonemans blog where I made a perfectly innocent and sincere comment about his dog GniGni having cancer.
I was trying to be sympathetic and supportive with my advice but he took my comment as a criticism and retaliated by accusing me of siding with PETA an anmimal welfare organisation which apparently doesnt have a good reputation...I had never heard of them before.
He also had something mean spirited to say about my Dad and my Son, really uncalled for but I guess he felt he was justified in saying what he said.

You are correct, our friendship or what I thought was a friendship is antagonstic, I dont have to say much or do much to be on the 'outer'...probably better to do as you say as I am always getting hurt but then I dont give up easily on people...but there will come a time when I have had enough and thats getting very close. ♡

Thanks I will take care. XO; May 1, 2009 at 1:37 PM
laughingwolf said...: the way i see it, he has chosen the way to react to your innocent and helpful comment

by making that choice, he has to live with it...

blessings to you and yours, dianne...; May 2, 2009 at 4:00 AM
dianne said...: Thank you dear laughingwolf , yes I was only trying to be sympathetic and helpful, but Boneman didnt see it that way, I wont offer any comments in future as sadly they are always perceived in a negative way or as interference or a criticism.

blessings to you as well my friend.♡; May 2, 2009 at 11:32 AM
Anonymous said...: Dianne said:
"I wont offer any comments in future as sadly they are always perceived in a negative way or as interference or a criticism."

Good. Stop following his blogs so you don't feel the need to make any comments and it doesn't give him the chance to lash out. Let him go Dianne, you don't need that sort of stress in your life lass! Who knows, maybne it's his way of telling you to leave him alone! He may not want the continued communication after the split, he finds it hard not to communicate also, but ends up being aggressive to push you away from himself again? Just guessing but give yourself that great gift - of freedom from stress. I've said it before, but open up you heart to the new, not the past - Move on! XX; May 2, 2009 at 8:06 PM
dianne said...: Glyn dear I dont know what to do...I am confused...I dont know what is going on. ♡; May 2, 2009 at 8:34 PM
Fantastic Forrest said...: Some relationships are toxic. It sounds like this is one of them. I think Photo Glyn has given you some very sound advice.

There is a whole world of interesting blogs and bloggers out there. Don't continue to upset yourself with this Bonehead.

My favorite philosophers are Ben and Jerry, whose immortal quote graces my car bumper:

"If it isn't fun, why do it?"

Indeed.; May 3, 2009 at 4:25 PM
dianne said...: Thanks dear Holly Fantastic Forrest for your thoughtful advice and I love the philosophy of the quote on your bumper sticker.

Yes it is good advice but you see this is not just a blogger to blogger relationship, it goes deeper than that and as I said to Glyn last night in an e-mail I dont give up on my friends easily. I dont know how this will go, maybe Boneman is trying to sever our friendship and I am holding on to false hope... I will have to wait and see.

Thanks for your kindness. ♡; May 3, 2009 at 9:13 PM